I in moans

Where am I?

Sitting at a desk I purchased in 1997, redesigned over the years by cat claws and duct tape.

Why am I here?

If you knew the number of times I’ve asked that question, you’d laugh.

I’m at my desk, typing on my computer, at 1:00 in the morning for one reason:

Did you know that if you scramble the word Insomnia you get: 

  • I in moans  
  • O man I sin

I’ll be doing editing for about an hour.  Writing is not an option.  At this moment, I have the creativity of a moth circling a light bulb.

When will I finally get to sleep?  I can guarantee it’s not going to be in the next 10 minutes.

Let me tell you what the night has been like so far.

  1.  Toss and turn wondering why I can’t sleep.
  2.  Go into the bathroom in an attempt to pee.
  3. Find a 5 inch spider staring at me from the toilet rim.
  4. Turn on the removable shower head and aim it at said spider.
  5. Soak the bathroom floor.
  6. In desperation, straddle the toilet and hope it doesn’t attack me.
  7. Spray the seat.
  8. Clean up the mess.
  9. Yell at the spider who is staring at me.
  10. Write a blog post.

Yes, I’m well aware it’s not going to hurt me, but I have this thing about being tickled by hairy spider legs while trying to take a whiz.  I call it Arachno-flow-by-ya.

I know, that was bad.

Do you know what you get if you rearrange “Arachnophobia?”   Bah, a ranch, I poo.

I think it’s time to edit now.

First, I have to pee again.  Where is an adult diaper when you need one?