I in moans
Where am I?
Sitting at a desk I purchased in 1997, redesigned over the years by cat claws and duct tape.
Why am I here?
If you knew the number of times I’ve asked that question, you’d laugh.
I’m at my desk, typing on my computer, at 1:00 in the morning for one reason:
Did you know that if you scramble the word Insomnia you get:
- I in moans
- O man I sin
I’ll be doing editing for about an hour. Writing is not an option. At this moment, I have the creativity of a moth circling a light bulb.
When will I finally get to sleep? I can guarantee it’s not going to be in the next 10 minutes.
Let me tell you what the night has been like so far.
- Toss and turn wondering why I can’t sleep.
- Go into the bathroom in an attempt to pee.
- Find a 5 inch spider staring at me from the toilet rim.
- Turn on the removable shower head and aim it at said spider.
- Soak the bathroom floor.
- In desperation, straddle the toilet and hope it doesn’t attack me.
- Spray the seat.
- Clean up the mess.
- Yell at the spider who is staring at me.
- Write a blog post.
Yes, I’m well aware it’s not going to hurt me, but I have this thing about being tickled by hairy spider legs while trying to take a whiz. I call it Arachno-flow-by-ya.
I know, that was bad.
Do you know what you get if you rearrange “Arachnophobia?” Bah, a ranch, I poo.
I think it’s time to edit now.
First, I have to pee again. Where is an adult diaper when you need one?