Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : Common Sense Series

Coon Cat:  Hey! Brother!

Other Brother Coon Cat:  Go away!  I’m trying to sleep.

CC:  Do you know what makes me see red?

OBCC:   You’re a cat and that’s how our eyeballs work?

CC:  No, dummie!  Mom is binge-watching something called an old series.

OBCC:  I’m told humans do that when their brains are full.  They need to pour the excess into something that’s empty.

CC:  I wish it were that simple. She’s yelling at the screen, “Kill the bastard or he’ll be back next year to kill 50 more innocent people!”

OBCC: Don’t humans understand the laws of the universe?

CC:  If every human on the planet is like this, wouldn’t you say the god of cats needs to kill of the god of humans and replace them with a species that understands how the universe works?

OBCC:  I don’t understand humans.  I understand food.  There’s a bowl.  The human fills it.  Food is good.

CC:   A man goes around killing bad guys.  He needs people to help him find more bad guys.  They tell him that killing is bad.  So he stops killing the bad guys and puts them in jail.  A year later, they’re out of jail and they’re killing 500 innocent people who wouldn’t be dead if they’d just killed the killers.  

OBCC:  Any cat with common sense knows that if you don’t get rid of the problem, you’re responsible for what they do after that, just as if you did it yourself.

CC:  You were listening to my logic lessons!  Bravo!

OBCC:  If you repeat something long enough, I can play it back to you.  

CC:  Did you know there are 8 billion people in the world?

OBCC:  What’s a billion?

CC:  If there were that many mice in our yard, they’d be stacked as high as the clouds.

OBCC:  Wouldn’t they fall over?

CC (sighing):  That’s not the point!  If you have 8 billion nice people and a few million bad people, what would you do?

OBCC:  Hunt them down and kill them.  Even the stupidest cat knows that!

CC:  And that’s why I’m seeing red!  There were old killers in jail given food, clothes and shelter for 50 years, and they helped the bad guy break out.   What kind of stupid @$$ takes a killer to jail and feeds it for 50 years?

OBCC:  Movie producers?