Merry ThanksChristmakkah

by

Perhaps December 25th should be called:

Don’t Offend Anyone Day (DOAD)

Somehow, Merry Doad just doesn’t sound right.   It’s slightly better than Merry Xmas, and I’m still trying to find a way to fit Ashura into this mish-mosh of holiday madness.  

We wish you a merry DoadAsh?

Nope.  Just…nope!

I do yoga and, although I do it almost every day, I’m told it’s not a religion.  Don’t get me started on the cost of a yoga “retreat!”  Why spend $4000 on a retreat?  The price tag alone is an anxiety inducer.

Actual picture of me doing yoga in an actual office.

We carry with us through life the best and worst memories of childhood. 

I loved Christmas carols, and mom always painted a Christmas scene on the front window each year.  We had a plastic tree that lasted throughout my childhood and an old Lionel train set that no longer works.  We’d guide the train around the tree while the nastiest little chihuahua mutt on Earth barked at it.

The feeling of a childhood Christmas is all that remained once my sister and I had to start decorating the tree each year, putting the ornaments away, and buying everyone presents.

As we all know, reality sucks. No one in my family takes Christmas seriously anyway…except for the presents.

I’ve got it!  This can’t possibly offend anyone!

Happy every-holiday-in-December-including-the-new-year.

Except that some places in the world start the new year in the spring, fall, or summer — and have months I can’t pronounce.

Wishing everyone a tolerable N0-Win-Situation Day.

 

Category : holidays, humor
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