Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : Offended

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In 1968, I wrote this on the back of a sweatshirt (except that I used “I’m” instead):

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Therefore, you cannot call me racist, crazy, or any other word overused word that has completely lost it’s meaning.

What?  You don’t remember when someone who raced a car was called a racist? 

 

You probably don’t remember this, either:

Today, I’ve decided to be offended by EVERYTHING!

For it is better to be offended by offenses, than mend fenses that weren’t worded correctly.

I’m offended that I don’t look like THIS in the mirror

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I’m offended that the only time my cat wants to be near me is when he’s sick

…or hungry

I’m offended that I have to buy a ticket to win the lottery.

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Here is my advice to people who are offended by anything they don’t agree with and call you names that have lost all meaning through overuse!

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And as a reminder…

If you’re looking for an apology, this is all you’re going to get from me

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Am I always right?  H-e-double-L NO!  But at this moment in time, here’s how I feel about apologizing to people who are easily offended:

So please…if you’re offended by the fact that I’m alive and don’t agree with every little tiny aspect of your political/religious, etc., belief system, just remember this

If you’re offended by this, please feel free to move on to a different plane of existence:

 

And I can tell you without a doubt that Betty White would NOT be offended by this:

 

Betty White, my sarcasm hero!

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So please….go forth and be defended offended!

I’ll be laughing all the way to the ____________(blank).

Category : humor, politics
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