Florida bag eyes
To bed at 10pm. Up at 3am. So what else is new?
Did you know that being up at half-past-ridiculous is a sign of intelligence?
I beg to differ. When I have to work at 9 in the morning after being up from 3 to 5 the last thing I can claim is intelligence.
BOSS: That plan has to be completed today.
ME: Plan? Where am I? Who are you again?
BOSS: Cut the sarcasm, go to your office and work.
ME: Work? I have an office? Where’s the chocolate?
BOSS: Smart ass!
Now I understand! Someone half asleep who works for a polling company heard someone else say the word “smart” to another person who had bags under their eyes the size of a Florida roach and thought, “That means people who are up at 3am are smarter.”
SOMEONE: (donning his white lab coat and a clipboard) You! Yes…the one who just walked into the wall. Would you consider yourself smart?
ME: My boss seems to think so.
SOMEONE: How long do you sleep at night?
ME: From 10pm to 3am. You look weird. Is there intelligence Mars?
SOMEONE: Aha! People who are up at 3am are more intelligent than people who sleep through the night.
We used to call that gossip. Now it’s called a scientific study.
I’d better go back to bed before I try to explain why the dyslexic who thought he was doG actually saw God.