My granddaughter’s birthday is coming up…

…and so is my dinner at the thought of walking through airports again.

Over the sidewalk and through the ropes

to TSA’s house we go.  

The cops know the way to ruin our day,

they put on quite a show.

Fingers in places no one can see

and hands that grope my boobs

once in the plane, my baggage tucked,

I have to say getting there sucked.

AND THAT’S THE PLANE TRUTH!

Yep.  It’s nearly time for a fate worse than death — going from the parking lot to the plane.  

On longer flights, I’ll get my Starbuck’s  Chai with honey and soy milk before boarding and sip on it – for 9 hours – to avoid having to use the airplane bathrooms.

I can stuff a carry-on full of crap so well, you’d think it was the inside of a…