Why I’ll be up all night

This:

used these…

...and this

As his personal urinal. 

He must have been saving it up in a bladder the size of Rhode Island.   

How can a 20 pound coon cat soak 4 pillows? 

Yes, it was all over the pillows I had at the end of the bed for the Fat White Dog. 

BUT

What I didn’t know at the time was that it had soaked through the blankets I use for bedding.

This:

Was wallowing on the cat-peed pillows as if it were some kind of perfume.

She is presently canine non gratis.

Then, my basket case, the Errrrr dog…

…started whining.  I found him in the laundry room.  I have the door propped so the cats can get in to use the litter box that, obviously, they want me to move into the bedroom.

He’d dropped a load of crap the size of Texas near the dryer and couldn’t get back out again.  I’m sure it stank, too, but there’s something about having cat pee assaulting your nostrils that could bury the smell of a sewerage treatment plant.

I had to clean that mess up, strip my bed, and start the first of at least 5 loads of wash.

I am not amused!