Senseless Wednesday Sarcasm : What You’re Not

ME:    Hey! God, the Universe, and Everything.  There’s nothing like Sudafed and exhaustion.  I slept for 5 hours straight tonight.

GUE:   And that is important because….

ME:    It means I have 5 more hours to sleep, and I won’t have to drag my body all the way to the bathroom.

GUE:   What’s really on your mind?

ME:     Why do little pieces of you have to experience life?  Why can’t we simply dream it?

GUE:   How will I know who “I am” unless your experiences become me?

ME:     If you can think it, then it happens.  Whatever “it” is.

GUE:   Not the same.  You’re given free will and a collective conscience.

ME:    A condition that continually reaches for the most insane governments imaginable.

GUE:  Some days, understanding what I’m NOT helps me to understand what I AM.

ME:    Tell that to 6 million Jews and 25 million Russians who were killed the midst of World War Two.

GUE:   Humans invented self-destruction.  If the human experiment fails completely, I might give Bees a chance next time around.

ME:    Not funny!  Why Bees?

GUE:  Peas don’t have a collective consciousness.

ME:    But you said humans have a collective conscience.

GUE:   It’s your free will that causes most of my problems.   

ME:     So…you’ll have Einstein bees doing exactly what you tell them to do.  They’re happy all their lives.  What can you learn from that?

GUE:   Do you see how easily you answered your own question?

ME:     Why do I have to be one of the little pieces of life having an experience?

GUE:    Would you rather be a desert nomad, or perhaps you would have preferred watching your children die of starvation in Central Africa?  How about Siberia…I can arrange that.

ME:     You’re saying I got lucky?

GUE:   You live in Florida.  It took you 14 moves around the country and 5 husbands to understand; Florida is where you belong.

ME:   Are you saying that one day soon (aka a gazillion years for you) you’ll know who you are, and where you belong?

GUE: (smiling):  Precisely.