Re-writing and synopsis

Rewriting Immortal Sands.  Going through my third pass and still finding mistakes!

So far, I’ve added 6 additional pages, and I’m trying to make sure that every sentence makes sense.

Next on the list?  Asking my best friend to read it aloud with me.  She’ll take one chapter, and I’ll take the next.  It works well that way. 

Reading a book aloud will have to wait until I’m over this crud.  It still makes my voice raspy by mid-morning.  

So far, this isn’t the best post I’ve ever written, nor the most interesting.  

However, a synopsis of the book might be interesting:

Babylon, an immortal over 1,453,000 years old, is voted in as Prime Planetary Representative (aka “leader of the universe”).  Unfortunately, his competition doesn’t want to give up the title.

The present Prime finds two mistakes Babylon made early in his career:  A million years prior, he’d refused to kill the people of Earth, and he did not mine every scrap of ore used to create space ships!   This is enough to void the election until Babylon finishes the job he was ordered to do.

The present Universal Prime has a daughter, Adron, a girl so spoiled that she’s known on seven worlds as “the insufferable.”  He forces her to marry Babylon and sends them to Earth 50,000 years prior to our present day, along with 5 of Babylon’s worst sons.  

Earth has no hope of winning against a mind reading alien.  His one (1) ship destroys their base on the moon, their tether into space, and their military headquarters — all in a matter of hours.

Yes, Adron’s father did order Babylon to kill every person on Earth the moment he completes his mission, but he didn’t say anything about Adron.  She secretly helps the people of Earth build underground cities.  

Babylon has a spy in his midst.  Is Adron is the culprit?  He ravages her mind to dig out her secrets, and finds that she has accomplished what he could not do for the people of Earth.  She learns that her father has no interest in following her antics, but he carefully watches Babylon.  He thanks her for finding a way to save the people he loves. 

After 90 years, Babylon has mined all the ore.  It’s time to head for home.  Mere seconds before reaching space, Adron expresses her love for him.  At that moment, a universe class vessel appears and a bright light accosts their ship.

Their bodies disintegrate and become the Immortal Sands.  

In 1892 A.D., enough of his immortal sands glom together to create a child the size of a 7-year old.  Several years later, more of the sands find him.  Babylon looks as if he’s 10, and that’s when he discovers the remains of people Adron had saved 50,000 years ago suspect he is alive.  How is he to escape their vengeance? How long will it take to find the remainder of his Immortal Sands, and Adron’s?   Will he ever get off this D@#$%d planet? ©2022

I haven’t taken the book off of Amazon yet. If you’re interested, I’ll let you know when version #2 is available.