Celestial overthink sarcasm : unsatisfying conversations

Another one of those conversations at 3 o’clock in the morning… 

…after a very unsatisfying dream. 

Take all the concepts you fear will happen and throw them together with a device that helps you teleport anywhere and any time on Earth. 

Be on the side that loses, even though you’re the one with the technology and you have the better philosophy…

…and make the mistake of asking God, the Universe and Everything, one question, “Why can’t the good guys win?” 


This is what you get  


Me:   Hey! Gue (God, the universe, and everything). Why don’t people understand what’s right?

Gue:  You people go left, you people go right, you’re not going the correct direction.

Me: : What is the correct direction?

Gue:  Up.

Me:   So then, how do we go up?

Gue:  By refusing to continue going sideways.

Me:    And how do I go forward?

Gue:  One step at a time.  Put your best foot forward, and then keep walking.

Me:    Until I get to a cliff and fall over it?

Gue:  What do you think Earth is?

Me:    A beautiful place where everything is trying to kill us.

Gue:  Ah, but if the engine that powers the meat you reside in continues to live, what is death?

Me:   If I knew that, and it could proved it, I’d be a gazillionare.

Gue:  You worry that you’ll die and leave your dogs without someone to love them.

Me:    And I worry about my children.  I always worry about my children.

Gue:  So do I, and you can do as much about the direction of their lives as I can do about the direction of yours.

Me:   Why can’t you just come into the world and say, “This is how you’re supposed to live?”

Gue:  What happens every time I send someone to you who says that?

Me:    It might last for a few hundred years, and then some guy who thinks he knows everything tells us, “No, that’s not what the prophet meant,” and they profit off of other people’s ignorance.

Gue:   So then, what does that tell you.

Me:    I’m ignorant?

Gue:  Just like everyone else on Earth.   You look left, you look right, you look forward.  You asked the correct direction.  I told you which way to go, and what are we talking about at this moment?

Me:   Why people on Earth continue to shoot themselves in the foot?

Gue:  Turn out the lights around you, not the light in inside you, and tell me which direction I said.

Me (with a deep sigh): Up.

Gue:  That is the direction you have to go if you want to leave Earth for a place where the good guys don’t always lose.

Me: :  This conversation is about as satisfying as a licorice sandwich on raisin bread slathered with mayo and horseradish.

Gue:  Stop thinking with your tastebuds!  Start thinking with your heart, and leave your brain to the task it was created to do.

Me:    Act as a prison guard by limiting what we can know?

Gue:   Stop thinking of Earth as a prison, and look up at the sky instead of focusing on the bars that hold you inside your personal prison.

Me:    The day I do that will be in the middle of a Cat 5 hurricane while a tornado is rolling toward my cell.

Gue:   If you only choose to look at the sky when it confirms your belief, what does that tell you?

Me:    My brain is full.  I’m going back to bed.

Gue:   And I’ll be there for you, in your dreams.