Getting through to “theirs.”

by

I’ve been waiting over an hour to speak with someone from the IRS.

On 7/7/2021, I sent in a check with the amount charged for taxes.  A week ago, I received a check from the IRS for around $2. 

I cashed the check, believing it was probably the amount refunded for a late fee the tax accountant should have paid.

My spreadsheet was sent to the tax accountant on March 8.  He didn’t get around to doing my taxes until just before I sent the check to the IRS — in July. 

Yes, I had the information to him 4 months before he actually did the tax return.

I’m a bit illogical when it comes to who does my taxes.  I might be a tiny ant in the tax accountant’s universal mind, but I still believe that having my taxes done each year by the same entity is necessary. 

He knows my spending patterns and I have asked him to be very conservative about what is on my return.  I want nothing deducted that is “iffy.”

But alas, I digress.

The check I sent to the IRS over a month ago must have cleared, or I wouldn’t be getting reimbursement for a late fee I shouldn’t owe. Right?

A few days ago, I received a letter from the IRS saying that I still hadn’t paid my taxes. Obviously, the right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing.

Sooooo….

I tried to access information on-line.  Remember that scene in The Hitchhikker’s Guide To the Galaxy where the plans for destroying Earth were supposedly available? 

Alien:  “But the plans were on display…”
Arthur Dent: “On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
“That’s the display department.”
“With a flashlight.”
“Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.”
“So had the stairs.”
“But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.”

That’s how it felt when I tried to navigate their on-line information.

I called the IRS today and went through their robo gauntlet:

  • “If you are calling about…”  (It took 3 minutes to get to the right number to push).
  • Specifically, are you calling about… (I almost went to sleep listening to the options.  All I can tell you is that I pushed #4).

Then, I was asked these questions:

  • “What is your social security number?”
  • “Is your Tax ID# different from your social Security #?”
  • “What is the caller ID on your letter? What is the caller ID on your letter? Please enter…”  That particular number, I couldn’t find in time. 

The robo system said, “I’ll connect you to a representative. Wait time, one hour.”

At the time I wrote this sentence, I had been listening to muzak for 1 hour and 45 minutes, broken up only by the occasional message that says, “All available representatives are assisting customers.  Please continue to hold.”

Yes, staying on hold for over an hour IS as irrational as using a tax attorney who always puts my return at the very last of the heap. 

It has now been 2 hours since I went on hold,  but I will continue to hold until it’s time for me to go to bed.

OMG! OMG! (a double “oh my gosh!”)  I’m on the phone with someone now.  It only took 2 hours and 5 minutes.  Bottom Line:  They received the check, and she’ll send me proof it was received.

A helicopter just whizzed by about 200 feet above my home, from the Camp Blanding national guard place where they teach people how to shoot stuff.

Coincidence?

You decide.

 

 

 

Category : humor
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