Lately, my brain has been spiraling.

It’s caused by a multitude of first-world problems hitting at one time (sort of like breaking all 10 fingernails and you can’t find the clippers because your husband, who never puts anything back where it belongs, borrowed them).

When I think about spiraling, the first thing that comes to mind is a roll of toilet paper.

There are two schools of thought.



If we spend a 15 minutes each day eliminating waste, in 50 years we’ve dumped 273,750 minutes of our lives.  Yes, we’ve wasted 4562.5 hours, or 190 days.

For women, as that toilet paper roll called life spirals ever faster toward the end, we acquire what I call “Over 50 Bladder Syndrome.”  It’s a cruel trick:  We have 5 minutes to find a bathroom before the dam starts to leak, and 10 minutes before it breaks.   

What does that mean?

We spend 190 days each year searching for a toilet, the closest seat to a toilet, rushing to the toilet, or sitting one one.

Where is the pot of gold at the end of this rainbow? 

We don’t have to worry about pulling splinters out of our @$$.