Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : Convoluted

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Every 6 months, our bodies endure that unnecessary torture. I call Daylight Slavings Time.  The fog in my cogs will continue for a month, as my brain struggles to accommodate.

My better half is struggling with my creative communication skills as my synapses continually miss the correct mental filing cabinet.

Here’s a great example:  Thawing chicken. 

  • He knows I like to cook it my way. 
  • He likes to simply pressure cook the hell out of it with no spices. 

He asked, “Do you want some chicken?”

“Why?”

“I just told you.  I thawed out a 10 pound bag.”

“I’m doing laundry.”

“That’s not what I want to know.”  Then, to the accompaniment of Italian-style gesturing, he asked, “Do…you…want…some…chicken?”

I reverted to the only word that won’t start a litany of lectures about listening better.  “Sure.”

Words I use to describe how I feel about the “time change.”

  • Convoluted:  Like the ridges of our brains, or a ridiculous explanation.
  • Revolting:  Like limburger cheese, or the thing people do when government officials sell out their country.

During World War II, I’m told, you wanted to have that extra hour of daylight so the enemy couldn’t find your factories. (Yes, the ones blowing smoke out of their stacks. Why do you ask?)

However, it is true that, if you had lived in 1943 England, the person who turned their light on at the wrong time was going to have a really bad day.

But this is 2021. As of yet, China, North Korea, and Venezuela haven’t declared war against the rest of the planet.

Even if they did declare war on us, they wouldn’t need to look for an errant light to serve as a target.  Just punch a random street address into a $67 GPS system and take aim.  It gives the term “nuclear family” a new meaning.

Instead of daylight slavings time, it would’ve been easier to say/send an email/send a memo/text/announce on the news, “Starting tomorrow, you’ll begin work at 7:00 instead of 8:00.”

Or… spring forward from 8:00 to 8:30 and never, never, use daylight slavings time again.

I doubt it’s going to take a 2000 page bill that congress has to pass before anyone can read it.  

Image from photobucket

How hard can that be?

Category : humor
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