Christmas party : Work version

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Meme Maker - Jim Carrey generator!

If you’ve read my posts for a few months, you know there are a few (hundred) things I don’t like.  Among those gems of inconsequential 1st world irritants are:

People who don’t like cats,

People who don’t like dogs,

Being touched/massages,

and toilet paper hogs.

I do like puns, fractured/funny poetry, anything Star Trek, and I love slashing words together in an “and/or s/he” kind of way.  

Our office Christmas parties don’t have dancing, or laughing at the embarrassing antics of drunken employees.  That’s left for the staffs blow-out bash at the local Quality Inn.  It ends up looking something like this:

Funny Dance Fail Gifs (19 gifs) - Izismile.com

Instead of being unintentionally assaulted, there’s a lot of laughter, Southern-style Hors d’oeuvres, and a white elephant gift sharing game.

Everyone brings a gift under $25 and puts it on the table.  People choose a gift they didn’t bring.  Each takes a turn rolling the dice, and following the directions numbered 2 through 12, such as; 

  • Pass your gift to the right
  • Pass your gift to the left
  • Open your gift…

What were the gifts? 

Things like certificates for stores/massages/Amazon/restaurants, blankets, liquor, chocolate, cups, and a yearly planner. 

There were a few coveted above all others, like the liquor, Starbucks gift set, gift certificate for a massage, and the chocolates.  It was fun watching the expressions when people had to give them up.

After 10 people rolled the dice twice, guess which one I was left with?

Please reread the 3rd line of the bad poem above.  Only then will you understand my reaction.

“Who wants to trade!”

Half the people at the party raised their gifts.  I have enough blankets to cover every dog in my house 3 times over, and I don’t drink alcohol (stomach won’t let me). 

From A to D, which one do you think I chose?

A.  Restaurant gift card

B.  Bed and bath gift card

C.  Yearly planner

D.  Cup/Coaster/towel set

I have no doubt it will be discovered within the first 4 replies.  

 

Category : humor, work
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