Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : Starting over

I wrote a post this morning, but it isn’t funny, so I have to start over.  

Again, I’m staring at a blank screen…

Black Cat Staring At A Laptop Screen Stock Image - Image ...

…and staring.

Nothing else to do but look at the weather report.

OMG!  The temperature in North Florida is going to be 78F tomorrow (25.5C).  In comparison, the high in Madison, Wisconsin is going to be 25F.

Do you know what that means?  The fleas will be hatching…again!

Isn’t it enough that I have an ever-present writing helper endowed with talented paws that can delete a manuscript in less than 5 seconds?   

Or that washing my bedding produces enough dog hair to insulate a floor-length coat?

That space in the middle is where I sleep.

Must I now contend with fleas?   

I just changed the bedding this morning, and last week’s is in the dryer.  In fact, I just removed the second ton of dog hair from the filter.

So far, no dead fleas.

WooHoo!

Okay, mother nature, let’s compromise:  I won’t complain about how much winter SUCKS if you’ll leave the temperature at 65F/50F in North Florida for the next 6 months.

What am I thinking!

Actually, I’m still trying to find my brain. 

It was last sighted in Idaho.

Unfortunately, the entity that invented volcanoes undoubtedly doesn’t care if I’m comfortable during the winter — but it was worth a try.

I’ll shut up now.  If I ask for too much, the Yellowstone supervolcano will probably erupt, and fleas will be at the bottom of my 1st world problems list.

Extinct Volcanoes Are Coming Back To Life All Over The World

I’ll be worried about the little things, like feeding my dogs and cats, surviving 10 years of winter, having enough ammunition to dispose of the zombies…

…apocalypse stuff.

On the bright side, it’s doubtful China will want to invade the world after that happens, especially if the wind is moving west over the Pacific ocean when the mega explosion hits.

They’ll be too busy trying to breathe.

It’s a great way to remind me that I’d better be thankful for the little things in life, like flea prevention and bug repellent.