Mom’s birthday
October 14 is…was…my mom’s birthday.
Do you have a few moments to learn something about an incredible — and underappreciated — woman?
- She was born at home in 1913. If you look closely, you can see slight indentions in her head where the “doctor” used forceps during the delivery (that “new and improved” technique was quite fashionable at the time).
- That same doctor told her mother she couldn’t risk having any more children and performed a “hysterectomy.” The cost of the procedure was several hundred dollars, the equivalent of $3 – 5,000 in today’s world. Her mother had 3 more children after that, all boys. Back then, people never sued doctors, and believed the initials M. D. spelled “God.”
- When she was a child, mom cut part of a finger off with a knife. Her mother cleaned the wound with lysol, wrapped both pieces together with tape, and the entire finger knitted together.
- At the age of 4 years, she stood on a stool in the kitchen to wash all of the dishes for each meal. She had to eat with the adults, which was boring, and she wanted to eat at the kids table with her brothers. While her brothers ate, talked and laughed, she was washing dishes for hours every day. Until the moment of their death, her brothers swore that she was given special treatment because, “She got to eat with the adults.”
- In elementary school, mom saw a map of the world and told her teacher it looked as if all of the continents fit together at one time. Her teacher roundly condemned her for saying such a thing.
- During the early 1930’s, a person with a high school degree was rare. She graduated high school and attended secretarial school, where she learned shorthand.
- Mom worked as a secretary at Papago Park, a German POW camp in Arizona. She questioned why men were paid so much more than women for the same job. Her boss said it was because men had to support their families. She pointed out the men who were bachelors, and the widows who had children; then she asked for a response. Her boss dismissed her reasoned argument and replied that the men would be married one day.
- She married my father in 1943 and continued to work while he was stationed at a supply depot in England. She lived in a small travel trailer, saved her money, and purchased a car that she kept in excellent condition. Three years later, Dad arrived home on the Queen Mary. The next year they arrived in Florida.
- In 1948, my father and his brother formed a taxi business. Unfortunately, a woman was not allowed to own a business in Florida during that time. She had to sign her car over to two men who didn’t care what happened to it while she kept the books.
- She told my father that his brother was stealing from him. Dad wouldn’t believe her until the day the bank called and told him that his brother wanted to take out a loan on “their” car equal to what it was worth. My father said, “Hell, no!” His brother was supposed to pay the rent and utilities on their kiosk. That’s the day Dad found out that his brother hadn’t paid a penny of the costs. Had the banker not been diligent, my uncle would have blown the money and my father would have had to pay the bill.
- Dad had a 5th grade education, and rarely had a job that paid well. Mom was pregnant with me, had to answer the calls for a taxi day and night — and had a 2 year old to care for. Did I mention they lived in an efficiency apartment at the time?
- No matter what Mom endured, she would always say, “There’s a light at the end of the tunnel.” Another of her favorite sayings; “There’s a silver lining behind every cloud.” Those were the favorite cliches of anyone who had lived through the great depression.
- My dad used to say, “That woman could squeeze and nickle until it sh…, uh, screamed.” That’s why my parents could afford to live in their new home, and purchase a moving truck, on the monthly income of a fast-food worker.
- It helped that, as a veteran of WWII, Dad was on a list for a new home. Shortly after I was born, they moved into this:
Here’s what you can’t see from that picture: The 6 lane highway parallel to the home (which was taken from across a vacant lot). A mere 5 years later, the 2-lane road in front of their house was turned into a major highway with 2 lanes of parking on either side.
- In 1967, she was one of the first “older students” at a Junior College — in her 50’s. She was interested in architectural rendering.
- For one of her college classes, she had to design a bill board. She created a litter bug out of litter that said, “Don’t be a litter bug.” She was give a “C” on the assignment. A few years later, she saw a billboard on a major highway with a similar design.
- Mom kept the books for dad’s one-truck moving company, filled out the tax returns, kept a home clean, sewed all of our dresses, and did all the food shopping. Some months there was no income at all, but she planned for those months.
- When dad worked 2 jobs, mom maintained the home. That included painting it inside and out, mowing the lawn, and simple inside plumbing. When I was in my teens, she spent years paying for the land that I live on today.
- In 1972, my parents sold their home and purchased a 25 foot motor home. They built a shed and installed a small septic tank. During the summer, they traveled around, visiting my sister and I, visiting national parks, and seeing the USA. During the winter, they laid the concrete blocks for the first story of a new home…when they were in their 60’s…to save money.
- Mom once told me she had a “sideways” heart. From what I can determine, she had a condition called Dextrocardia: It means the heart is pointed toward the right side of the chest instead of the left. Just like her daughter, she wasn’t quite right. However, she did live to the age of 79.
- Dad died in the room where I’m writing this post. He appeared to be sleeping peacefully, and his death was determined to be natural causes. Mom lived 7 more years in this home after his death. The year before she died, she purchased a chevy cavalier station wagon and told me she was going to live to 100. My better half has kept it running. Yes — it’s still on the road as a celebration of her 107th birthday.
- What killed her? Sunstroke. She insisted on mowing the lawn without a hat. Her friend down the road told her she shouldn’t be out in 100F heat. My mother’s last words to her were, “I love the sun.”
She made my sister and I the executors of her will. It meant we had to decide between us who got what. I moved into her home for two reasons:
- Everything needed two signatures and someone had to be here to take care of the little things, and the paperwork, in person.
- It was the one time in my life that I was just about to be faced with no job and no place to live. Her home had no mortgage.
She lived in this home with my father when it only had 1 story from around 1978 to around 1985. He died only months after the 2nd story was completed. She lived in the 2 story version until 1993.
She wanted to travel the country, then retired in the woods, and lived in a home she loved, but it was only for 15 years.
I’ve been living here for 27 years. Even after death, she took care of her family.
Thanks for sharing this story. Seems to confirm the old saying “Tough times don’t last; tough people do.”
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Mom and Dad were certainly tough. She was so creative.
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A beautiful appreciation of an extraordinary woman with fortitude. And what an exit! “I love the sun.” That’s just excellent.
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Thanks. 🙂
Sun stroke took a week to take her down. It was like watching Alzheimer’s in fast motion.
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Oh man. Sorry.
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I’m glad to have read that. A remarkable woman!
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Thanks. 🙂
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A remarkable woman indeed!
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Thanks. 🙂
It felt it important that the world not forget someone with the inner strength to achieve her goal, no matter how large or small.
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I agree… and those who have the courage to quietly challenge and change the stereotypes… and lead future generatons by example.
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She’s extraordinary and inspiring. Though she didn’t get all that her talent deserved, she didn’t let it get to her. And I love her attitude. That there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel and about the silver lining
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Thanks. 🙂
When we’re children, we don’t appreciate our parents. She never missed the school events we were in, and she insisted that we study. She showed by example the importance of going to college. She was quite rare.
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A wonderful tribute to your extraordinary mother, Joelle.
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“She made my sister and I the executors of her will.”
Depending on the family that can be a blessing or a curse.
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For my sister and I, it was a little of both. We did well dividing things up. She never liked Florida or mom’s house, and having me live here meant she didn’t have to support me. 🙂 She took mom’s car, and traded hers to me because it was worth about half. Six years later, I bought mom’s car back when she bought the model car she wanted.
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The generation before us were really something special, Joelle 🤗
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That is SO true! Few women know how to sew their own clothing now, and few men can do even simple plumbing jobs.
I forgot to add this: She wanted a computer to write her memoirs — around 1988! My sister bought her the computer, and I bought her the printer. She took an introduction to computers class at the local Junior College when she was in her early 70’s.
Everything written under “Memorabilia” in my blog was copied word for word from the memoirs she created back then on one of the early personal computers.
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Just checked out your memorabilia category/tag on the post, Joelle – you’ve got a LOT of great posts there 😃
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Thanks.
At least one of the pictures she took of the “Great Escape” where 25 German POW’s escaped from Papago park, were used in a book that was written about it. Unfortunately, the picture(s) was credited to the Smithsonian archives or something like that (I’ll have to look it up to say exactly). I told the author of the book about it. They were my mom’s pictures and she deserved the credit.
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Really enjoyed reading your story. Thank you for sharing.x😻💜🐾🌈
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Thanks. 🙂
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She sounds like an incredible woman! Definitely ahead of her time with an insightful mind.
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When people don’t want to see the truth, they vilify the people who are telling it. My mom had the mind to see the pattern in the Earth and was told quite forcefully that she was wrong.
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What a beautiful ending to the post. Almost made me tear up.
I didn’t know Lysol was so old!
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Thanks. 🙂
I’m repeating what mom told me. The formulation for Lysol was changed years ago. You know — the “safety” thing.
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An amazing life!
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Thanks. 🙂
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What a wonderful tribute to your mother.
Just as an aside, my father’s father’s smallholding was on the banks of the River Clyde and Dad saw the Queen Mary being built and launched.
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What a great “aside.” 🙂
After WWII, my father wanted nothing to do with boats, planes… or mutton (I didn’t taste sheep in any form until I was in my late teens).
My mom wanted to travel. The only way she could travel with dad was on a motor home. My sister was living oversees in her mid-20’s and paid for airfare for our parents to travel across the Atlantic. It took a great deal of convincing to get my dad on a plane (they’re so safe…the flights are so smooth…etc.) Of course there was a lot of turbulence. 🙂
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Sounds like they packed a lot into their lives.
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Mom’s exuberance dragged Dad along with her. She saw the light at the end of a tunnel. He saw a train. 🙂
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She is inspiring ✨ Thanks for sharing this. Look at what Women had to go through in this world, mishandled by men 😒. She was a strong should soul. She had gone through so much, with a smile. I can see where your intelligence came from, your MOM! she is a genius ✨ Wish you many many more Happy Birthday Mom 🤗 you are inspiring 🙏 Thank you Joelle once again for sharing us 😍
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Thank you for the kind words. 🙂
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Your mom was a hero. She reminds me of my mother, who came from the same generation. She ran the house, worked full or part-time, took care of the finances and made sure we had clothes and food even when my father was out of a job. She tried to get a loan in the mid 1950s in Florida when she was working to buy some furniture, but the bank said she had to have my father co-sign. He couldn’t since he was unemployed at the time. They scraped and saved until they could buy a home and 20 years later sold it for a profit and bought outright a home in Central Florida. It’s wonderful you are living in her home. I’m sure that would make her very happy.
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Your mother was definitely “cut from the same cloth.” As a side job, she drove a rich woman around when she flew into South Florida for the winter. They became best friends. When we weren’t in school, she paid us a dime to watch ourselves (ages 5 and 8) when she was driving her friend around, and came back home with a cinnamon from La Casita (Coral Gables swanky restaurant).
Strange isn’t it, the things you savor the most — like that cinnamon roll and your mom’s happiness at having an outlet.
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Wow, what a woman!
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Thanks. 🙂
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Thanks for telling us about this remarkable woman, your Mom!
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Thanks for reading.
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Your mom was remarkable. This is a lovely tribute to her. Thank you for posting.
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