Senseless Weekend Sarcasm : Computer disabled.

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Nope — my computer has not been disabled.  This refers to the computer’s operator.

There should be a section of the DSM V for people with a computer disability. 

It would be under “Developmental Disabilities” in the “severe” category (just under Dyslexia and Tourettes).

DSM-5 Cover.png

What are the symptoms?

  1.  Your cat knows how to use the computer mouse better than you do.

2.  When you call tech support, and they ask if the computer is plugged in, you tell them you have an emergency call instead of admitting the truth.

3.  You are able to remain calm in any emergency, but the moment that document you’ve been working on disappears from the screen you turn into this:

4.  Anything more complicated than Windows 7 will make your brain temper explode.

5.  The only time you’ve used a curse word in the past year is the day you can’t get your WordPress Classic Editor to work — and I’m not talking about words like Food, Frustrated, Friday or Fat.

6.  The only cure for the problem is to marry a computer genius who knows how to keep Windows 7 running.  Unfortunately, they tend to have the social skills of a hungry T-Rex.  Is there a mental disorder for that?  In the DSM V language, choose one or more of the following

  • 312.34  Intermittent Explosive Disorder
  • 301.4    Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder.
  • 301.7    Antisocial Personality Disorder
  • And if there were such an animal:  812.0 Computer Expert Superiority Disorder.

Believe me when I tell you this:  After he’s said, “I’ve told you how to plug a USB drive into the computer a hundred times,” he tends to get a bit upset when I ask, “Where does the thingamabob go again?”  —  as I hold the PS2 for my ancient keyboard toward him.

So…sue me for being in love with the Gateway SK-9920 keyboard.

Unfortunately, I fear that suit would be for divorce.

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