Healthy humor

The human race had to come from somewhere. 

We try to explain how we came to be — using words like God, nature, and who-the-hell-cares.

Here is my non-scientific explanation using science as a springboard. 

It’s more fun to laugh at science that way.

Four elements are the largest percentage of our body weight (96.2%): 

  • Oxygen
  • Hydrogen
  • carbon
  • nitrogen

Airheads contain the gas variety.

The rest of us are mostly H20, otherwise known as water (50 – 70%)

People with too much sulfur in their body are going to hell.

Those with too much Chlorine in their gene pool strive for sanitary perfection.

But wait!  What about bacteria?  We have, roughly, an equal numbers of body cells and microbes. 

Germaphobes beware! 


Without this symbiosis we’d be up a creek without a paddle in a barbed wire canoe.

Or, possibly, we’d have half a body.

So, how much “germ” is inside of us?  Only about  10-100 trillion symbiotic microbial cells.  

Before you say, “That’s a load of C@rp,” most of it is gut bacteria.

Are we having fun yet?

Yes, there’s a difference between oral and fecal microbiota. Though, with some people, it’s often hard to tell which orifice is speaking.

Think of the microbiota in our guts as the difference between a domestic dog and a wolf. 

Yes, the slaves in our gut are far different from the freedom loving microbial communities that plague us.  Some call it coevolution between vertebrates and their microbial consortia. 

I’d rather feel as if I have some control over the things my gut needs to survive. Humans, it seems, are rather adept at taming microbial beasts.  

Okay, okay, stop snoring!  I’ll get to the point!  The D@mned things might be useful in creating personalized medications.

Unfortunately, we might not be alive when science finally get around to creating the perfect designer meds.

So…here’s my theory about the origins of the human race.  Microbes are God’s construction workers.  They created the perfect symbiote and have spent their teeny lives making us think that we’re the ones in charge.

Call it gut instinct.