Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : To die(t) for?
I’m supposed to write something pithy and full of mirth that makes you go, “LOL!”
Hell! I’ve already lost 3 readers this week. I might as well go for the gold and lose 3 more (I can be petty like that).
Excuse my feeling-very-sorry-for-myself moment, while half the world is dying of worms and dysentery.
Yes, I’m being overly dramatic. I tend to get that way when suffering from something non-fatal that’s no worse than a hangnail.
Two days on Vanilla Ensure, Fage yogurt with honey, and potato soup. Think that’s bad? January to June 2019, I was on this diet most of the time and dropped to 100 pounds.
I’m giving you the two-day dare: Try having 1 Ensure, a cup of yogurt, and a can of potato soup broth for two days, then get back to me.
Did I mention I have to throw away the potatoes, or feed them to the dogs?
Consider yourself challenged.
What, you might ask, is my problem?
Here’s the long version:
Here’s the short version: “Chomp, chomp…OW!!! Retching-my-guts-out. I want chocolate! Chomp, chomp….OW!!!”
A week ago I was almost to 110 pounds. Yesterday, it was 109 pounds. If this keeps up for a week, I’ll be back down to 106. My body already looked like this…
…without the dignity of having a butt. It had adhered itself to my stomach.
If this keeps up for another month, I’ll look like this:
What I have is mild. It’s already Russian Roulette with food; I don’t want to know what “moderate” looks like.
You might be interested to know that I can have all the mints, spice drops and candy, without a lot of fat, that I want.
Unfortunately I have a one-track mind….CHOCOLATE!
No, it’s not cancer, heart disease, or a train wreck. But…but sometimes, a woman’s gotta bitch.
Yep, this is me on Gastroparesis
Except I’m not as strong, well built and interesting.
Next time someone says, “No matter how hard I try, I can’t gain weight,” don’t curse at them.
Remember: You’re the one eating the salad, cake with buttercream icing, barbecued ribs, and corn on the cob.
I’m the one ordering the baked potato and boiled shrimp.