Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : Mother’s Day

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I wasn’t your usual mom.  

My daughter was around 12 when she wrote an essay about…oh, hell…I can’t remember that far back.  Something about comparing her family members to cars.  She said my sister was a minivan and I was a Delorean.

1981 DeLorean DMC-12 for sale #2019083 - Hemmings Motor News1990 Dodge Caravan - Overview - CarGurus

My sister never forgave me for that.

Did I tell you my daughter once went bananas?

She took her brother with her on that mental vacation.

I remember their early years as if it were yesterday.

Since they spent most of their time sleeping in cribs, it wasn’t hard to remember what they did for the first 5 months.

Did I mention they were both walking at 6 months?

This was hard

At least dogs don’t laugh when you fart and pee in the toilet.

…but there is one truth every mother should know.

It’s so cute when they bring you breakfast in bed on Mother’s day.

This is not so cute:

MOTHER’S UNITE!  Change Mother’s day to KIDS AND HUBBY HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING Day or go to jail.

I think I’m on to something.

 

Category : holidays, humor
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