Sassy Sarcasm

by
Some days my mind seems to be on vacation:
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When we “put our heads together” there’s less of a chance that one of the heads will be stuck up an @$$.
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Yesterday I was sweating.  Today, I went for a walk and I was freezing.  Winter and summer are fighting — and May is the punching bag.
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If the universe is a construct, and pixels age, are baby pixels called pixies?
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I declare this to be National Not Quite Right Day, and Today is as good a day as any to celebrate it.
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I think I’m the reincarnation of Wednesday Addams.  I have her sense of sarcasm.
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Even if it’s impossible to be the reincarnation of a pretend person, she’s still my role model.
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Reality seems to lack certain attributes, like predictability and sense.  
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I didn’t walk to school, I bicycled a mile each way.  Yes, my mother expected me to bicycle across an 8 lane highway at a stoplight, wind my way through back streets and into the Elementary school by the time I was in 3rd grade.  
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True, we have 10 times more people in this county now than we did then.  But that’s not the only difference.  There was an underground railroad of mothers who would alert each other if kids veered off course.
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More about my childhood:
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This is the reason I don’t cry when I break a fingernail.
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Welcome to my world.  
Category : humor
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