Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : Burned
Well….
Tonight, I had the privilege of burning cookies. Not that I wanted to, but when you start a game of Spider Solitaire you sorta lose track of time.
It might have helped if I’d used the light brown sugar instead of dark, and if I hadn’t used that Dollar Store peanut butter. Did you know that cheap peanut butter has molasses in it?
Maybe that’s why my cookies tasted like mole asses. Since I don’t know what the rear end of a mole tastes like, nor do I want to, I’m simply guessing.
The eggs used to make these cookies are either appalled…or dead.
I thought about giving the crispy little orbs to my dogs, but there’s a warning on the label…
CONTAINS: PEANUTS
…written with CAPITAL LETTERS and in BOLD.
I suppose if you’re selling this stuff in a cheap dollar store, having peanuts as one of the ingredients might be considered odd.
In my defense, the cookies weren’t this bad:
But I do have my talents. I can burn the ingredients first and then burn the cookies.
Yes–and I can make them look like they’re not burned.
“How,” you might ask, “Did you do that?”
The extra dark brown sugar was in the freezer and hard as granite. So…I melted some butter in a small pot and let it soak into the sugar so I could stir it. Unfortunately, I’d turned the fire down to low, not off.
After scraping the bottom so that I could turn the sugar over, and letting it sit another 15 minutes (with the stove off), it was soft enough to melt the peanut butter, which had been in the refrigerator.
Hubby would have this on my kitchen door as a warning, but he cooks his own food.
“Why,” you might ask, “Didn’t it look burned?”
Dark brown sugar that’s burned looks a lot like chocolate.
I’ll be playing scrabble tomorrow and considered taking one to my SIL, but I’m afraid she’ll keel over.
I don’t want her to die laughing.
At least if they don’t look burned, you could give them away, to strangers, who live far away [smile].
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I might be sent to jail for transporting toxic waste through the mail. 🙂
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Haha, good point
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Ha ha ha I’m dead laughing looking at that egg face 🤪😜😂 Oh you are a good cook indeed and you are sport on referring yourself like that to make us laugh. A good heart inside you that “Glows” Thanks for the smile✨😸😋 Wish u a wonderful Sunday💐
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I made a second batch and they came out a little better. What I discovered was that even if I’d made the cookies as described on the King Arthur website, they were much too salty.
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😄😄 You still did it salty ☺️ It happens, I’m poor at it too, so i always call my wife when it comes to salt. 😁
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The entire recipe is this:
1 cup peanut butter
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup self-rising flour
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 eggs.
No additional salt needed — and yet it was still too salty. 🙂
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😳🙄🤔 Where is the salt🤷? 😄 😄now i get it why were you laughing 😁 .. But thanks for the recipe 😋 Would Love to try on a weekend ☺️
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Worse than that you have admitted to using BUTTER. I can handle it in raised baked goods but cookies is another matter. If I can smell it or taste it or both you might as well serve up a baby spit towel. It just ain’t going down.
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The recipe didn’t call for butter. I thought that a melted tablespoon could soak through the brick that was the dark brown sugar. Afterward, I hit my forehead and mumbled, “What was I thinking! Why didn’t I use water?
Or, I could use what I usually do when I bake — coconut oil.
It was a perfect storm of really bad cooking. 🙂
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I’ll be the first to admit the closest I get to baking is listening to Ginger Baker playing drums on an old Cream album, but I’m struggling with the blaming of the ingredients when you admitted losing track of time playing Spider Solitaire….just sayin’…
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That’s why it’s sarcasm. It’s obvious that the fault is with the cook, and it makes people laugh. 🙂
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Nice try. You’re just an ingredient-ist…
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Too funny!
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Thanks. 🙂
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You’d be surprised to hear what people sue for. “Oh, I had no idea PB contained peanuts. I thought the peanuts were made out of soy.”
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That is much too true.
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