Senseless Celestial Sarcasm : Rest

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Yet another unsatisfying moment with God, the universe, or whatever.

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Hello God, the universe, or whatever I’m talking to.  I’m back.

I never left. 

Show off.  There’s a cat next to me wanting to be petted.  He does that when I want to be alone.  When I don’t want to be alone, he‘s outside chasing lizards.

Welcome to my world.

You’re saying that humans are just like cats?

No.  I’m saying that you knock on my door when you want something.

Fair enough.  I went to sleep at 9 and awoke rested only to find it’s midnight.  Now there’s a dog on my pillow.

You want to be rid of the dog?

No.  I want some respect.  Why can’t I have one night’s sleep  where I put my head on the pillow and wake up 10 hours later?

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The answer to a prayer

I can arrange for you to have the flu.  You won’t want to get out of bed.

I’d like 10 hours of sleep in one chunk of time as a healthy person sans the misery of cold, flu or etc.

Ah, the dreaded Etc. virus.  That one has killed several people on different worlds…

You either have a sick sense of humor or you’re playing with the galactic equivalent of roaches.

Your cat wants you to move.

I know.  All eight pounds of him is trying to wedge his back into my back while trying to push the back of my chair with his tiny little paws. He waited until I’d warmed the seat first.  It means the temperature is just right and he doesn’t need me anymore.

You have just described what it’s like when people ask me to do things for them.

 So then…we get the thankless bastard award?  I’m not asking for a billion dollars, or a house with carpeting.  All I want is a full night’s sleep.

…and you want a maid, your books published, a space ship…

What do you want?

An eternity of rest. 

Too many worlds to satisfy, eh?

China wants world domination, America is bi-polar, Canada wants less taxation, Africa wants food, and Australia is praying for rain.  The dolphins want to know what happened to Douglas Adams and South America wants fewer people but they refuse to use condoms.  No one is happy.

What will humans do if you snooze for a few centuries?

What you always do, find someone who isn’t you and pick a fight. 

I have the feeling I’m not getting to sleep any time soon.

 

Category : conversations, humor
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