Floridians be like, “We still recognize bad grammar when it’s over 90F.”
It’s that time of year again.
- We made it through January (aka “when hell freezes over)
- We made it through February (aka “short
- We made it through March/April (aka when Florida can’t decide whether it wants to be hot or cold and…
Now comes the end of May!
Once we get through the next few weeks and HOT prevails, it’s going to look like this:
Yes, that’s right! Northerner’s brains fry and they forget how to speak proper English!
There are so many jokes about Florida’s hot humidness.
I was in Ajo, Arizona once, visiting a cousin and uncle. I’m told it was hot, but I don’t remember anything about the weather. I do, however, remember my mother talking to my father about her brother’s ex-wife. Basically, she called her a slut.
…and I remember what a different cousin I met said about Ajo, “It’s so hot that when residents die, they take blankets to hell with them.
You don’t know how many times I heard the same joke over and over again from people visiting Florida in August. And yet, I never remember this happening:
I suppose hell truly is “down under.”
One thing about humid weather: Unless you have a very strong styling gel, your hair looks like this:
There’s a woman at work who shaves her head during the summer. I considered it (for about 30 seconds) simply to save money on shampoo, but decided it’s not an option. If I tried it, I’d look like this — but with wrinkles:
If you’re from the north, please visit Florida in early May or mid-October.
You’ll be comfortable, and you can still laugh at Floridians running around in sweaters, jeans, socks, and flip-flops while you’re comfy in your t-shirts and shorts.
The ambulance drivers will probably hate me for telling you this — I’ll be ruining most of their income).