Floridians be like, “We still recognize bad grammar when it’s over 90F.”

It’s that time of year again.

• We made it through January (aka “when hell freezes over)
• We made it through February (aka “short man month syndrome)
• We made it through March/April (aka when Florida can’t decide whether it wants to be hot or cold and…

• Now comes the end of May!  

Once we get through the next few weeks and HOT prevails, it’s going to look like this:

Yes, that’s right!  Northerner’s brains fry and they forget how to speak proper English!

There are so many jokes about Florida’s hot humidness. 

I was in Ajo, Arizona once, visiting a cousin and uncle.  I’m told it was hot, but I don’t remember anything about the weather. I do, however, remember my mother talking to my father about her brother’s ex-wife.   Basically, she called her a slut.  

…and I remember what a different cousin I met said about Ajo, “It’s so hot that when residents die, they take blankets to hell with them.

You don’t know how many times I heard the same joke over and over again from people visiting Florida in August.  And yet, I never remember this happening:

I suppose hell truly is “down under.”

One thing about humid weather:  Unless you have a very strong styling gel, your hair looks like this:

There’s a woman at work who shaves her head during the summer.  I considered it (for about 30 seconds) simply to save money on shampoo, but decided it’s not an option.  If I tried it, I’d look like this — but with wrinkles:

If you’re from the north, please visit Florida in early May or mid-October. 

You’ll be comfortable, and you can still laugh at Floridians running around in sweaters, jeans, socks, and flip-flops while you’re comfy in your t-shirts and shorts.

The ambulance drivers will probably hate me for telling you this — I’ll be ruining most of their income).