Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : Spoiled

It’s been raining ALL the D@%*#d day.  Temps are dropping. 

OMG! It’s 48F out there! 

Where the hell is my snowsuit!!!

Found it:

Well…technically, that’s my son’s snowsuit when he was 10, and the bottom only reaches a few inches below my knees — but I have boots!

No, I’m not spoiled!  I’m Floridian! 

No true Floridian walks around without a down jacket and boots on when it’s 60F.

This is what happens when a true Floridian is caught outside without the proper winter wear. I know because I’ve had to do this before!  Go ahead…laugh your @$$ off!  

Come visit in August when I’m wearing short sleeves, jeans, and NOT sweating in 90F with 100% humidity.  Then, it’s my turn to laugh at who’s spoiled.

The word “spoiled” has different meanings.  It can mean that food was in the fridge too long, or it can describe the 30-year-old sitting in his parent’s basement playing video games all day.

I’m thinking about writing a children’s book (not). 

I’ll call it

Why dogs and cats make mom so mad she will take out her anger on you.

Hmmmm….now that I write it that way, perhaps it’s best to stick to something simple like:

Why pets drive mom nuts.

This is a spoiled cat:

First, he stands in front of the monitor, then he starts kicking at the keyboard. 

Mom has found so many pop up pages, and things she never wanted to access, than she ever wanted to know about.

This picture was just taken of mom with said cat in lap.  Please note the Florida wear;  it’s presently 70F inside and mom is wearing down booties, thermal socks, lavender winter lounge wear, and a deep purple robe.

Mom spends so much money on her little ones that she has to shop in “clearance,” where no respectable shopper dares to go. That’s why most of her wardrobe is 50 shades of purple. 

You’d think their fur coats would be enough to keep them warm , but Nooooo….

This is a spoiled dog:

She takes the 5 pillows mom has scattered around her bed for the dogs to lay their spoiled heads on, and she piles them together.

She snores on her pillowy throne until mom goes to sleep, then spends the night trying to push mom out of her own small space on the bed.

Mom has another dog at home that helps the first one ban mom from comfort!

Mom works hard taking care of spoiled children.  Dogs deserve better treatment than spoiled children.  They always greet mom with smile and always love her.  Cats are just like children, ungrateful.  But cats purr and sleep most of the day.

You’d better watch out, children, or mom will replace you with a dog or a cat.

<_><_><_>

On third thought, perhaps it’s best if I don’t write children’s books and stick to what I like to do; writing bizarre and sometimes frightening adult SciFi.