Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : Relationships.

I know what to expect from a cat.  They’re in it for themselves, and no purse is safe from being used as a bed.

When I come home from work, they’re standing next to the stack of canned food….staring at me.

I know what to expect from a dog.  The second you’re off the bed, a dog head is on your pillow.

But when I come home, they’re always happy to see me.

!!!!Always!!!!

But humans?  

We’re the 7 dwarfs all rolled up into one brain.  Whether man or woman, you never know what you’re going to get when you walk through the door.

I forgot to tell you the names of these miniscule beings:

1. Arrogant
2. Know-it-all
3. Hard worker
4. Control freak
5. Compassionate
6. Good listener, and
7. I-can-make-mistakes-and-expect-you-to-understand-but-when-you-make-mistakes-I’ll-yell-at-you.

Number 7, having a long name, can be very long-winded.  He’s the one who broke my computer, took 3 days to fix it, and I was kind about it.  But when I walked out the door toward the car this afternoon, I got a 30 minute lecture about how he told me he wasn’t ready to go yet and how I never listen.

I heard, “I’m going out…”

He left the door open, so I thought he wanted me to go out, too.

I didn’t hear the rest of what he said as he was walking away from me, “…to try and find where I put the car keys.”

This is the same man who is always there when needed, never late, and if I ask him to pick up a can of soup on the way home, he brings an entire case.

It must have something to do with the genius mentality.  It’s horrible to live in a world full of people who, compared to someone with an IQ over 200, are all intellectually disabled.

When I arrived back home today, I managed to drop what was in a bag.  Yes, there’s a lecture for that.

I took several deep breaths and repeated this mantra:  I am not the problem…I am not the problem…

Then, I entered my room and went through the checklist:

1.Cat sleeping in front of the monitor?   CHECK

2.Dogs on the bed?  CHECK.

3.  Meditation music going?  CHECK 

All is right with my world.

Tomorrow, it’s my turn to go all VOLCANO!

Or maybe I’ll just continue to pet a cat, turn the meditation music up a little louder, and pick a character in one of my books to put through unimaginable hell.

Sounds like fun!