Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : Holiday Aftermath

No, I’m not talking about algebra, I’m talking about life after the holidays.     

The only math involved is the effort it takes to count the additional inches your waistline has acquired.                                                                                                                                                                                                       

The holidays feel a lot like this: 

Makes me wonder if a fairy godmother turns mice into people and sends them out on the road between October 31 until January 5th just to confuse everybody.

Why January 5th? 

Who can forget the sacred custom of returning at least one gift that you hated. 

Usually, it’s an ugly sweater. 

Standing in line for an hour is part of the ritual, and then you have to drive home in a rage. 

Why?

Uncle Larry made you wear that stupid sweater all day, you waited in line for the obligatory 1 hour rite-of-passage, but the store wouldn’t take it back because it has sweat stains. 

Why were there sweat stains?

…because you were so terrified someone you care about might see you wearing it that you helped mom out in the kitchen.

I didn’t have to worry about that.  I get exactly what I wanted from my family for Christmas: 

NOTHING. 

Can’t take that back to the store.

NO!  Not THAT kind of nothing!  Get your car out of the wall!

I keep hoping that life will get back to normal soon. 

Unfortunately, after today’s trip to the local dollar store I’ve lost all hope.

So then… let us prepare for the ValenStPassover season. 

I suppose we’ll have to simply grin and beer it.