Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : refrigerators

Shopping for refrigerators is a lot like trying to find a nursing home.  It’s not fun, nothing is a good fit, and you’re left paying for something you never wanted in the first place.

My present fridge lasted all of 5 years.  It died around the same time as the world’s sweetest (7-year-old) puppy dog.

The last thing I wanted to think about was, “What am I supposed to do with 50 pounds of spoiling food?”

, .

Five dogs were at the receiving end of a feast as 1.2 cup containers (aka two months worth of lunches for work) were unscrewed and the contents dumped into a giant mixing bowl.

In my case, the contents weren’t all that exotic; tuna casserole, chicken&rice, beef&rice, spaghetti with meat, and something with potatoes in it that I couldn’t recognize. 

But dogs care only about one thing: 

My parents bought a fridge when I was too young to remember, and replaced it when I was floating in that 20-something Neverland.  It was still working and though I can’t remember if this is true or not, I think they gave it away. 

If you’re wondering why my fridge lasted only five years, here’s a clue:

Not that I miss watching mom do this for 20 years of my life:

True, it was a useful for the purposes of asking mom,” What is snow?” 

She led me to the fridge and said, “Honey, this is as close as I can get to showing you.”

Man, was I surprised to find out that snow was cold.

My BAID (My but alas I digress).

Well, I found the fridge I wanted, spent 10 minutes doing checkout and a message in pink said:  


So, I looked for another one and went through the mind-numbing tell-us-your-blood-type check out process.



My review looked something like this: 

%(#*#& YOU %(#*$&’S    I  TRIED TO BUY A FRIDGE AND YOUR $(@&*%& CHECKOUT PROCESS IS so  %)#(@#*$^ I can’t even get your %*$&@^’s website to take my credit-card non-money!

They should be able to read between the lines quite well.  I could certainly read through theirs:

Cost of fridge:      (Somewhere between 0 and, “WAY out of my price range.”)

Cost of 5 year warranty:   $528.00

Cost of 10 year warranty:   $783.00.

You’re betting that when your fridge dies in five 10 years it will cost more to replace than to have it refurbished.

Being without a fridge sucks.  Sure, it’s a 1st world problem and at least I’m not drinking brown water out of a hole in the desert…  

…but habit is a merciless slave owner. 

I spent a lot of time doing this…

Believe me when I tell you:   Warm, smelly and empty is an appetite killer.

So….one day my prince fridge will come.  When it does, I can stop eating peanut butter sandwiches and canned soup.