“Why,” you might ask, “Are you up at 2 in the morning guzzling sugar wafers?”
Imagine you’re sleeping when the sound of a propeller next to your ear brings you out of nirvana and into that very uncomfortable zone called, “hanging onto your last nerve by a thread.”
That’s the sound of an 82 pound dog scratching.
He’d wandered outside for whatever reason, and then jumped onto my bed and scratch it all off.
Did I mention that my house was built on a sand hill (sans the beach)?
Grains of the D@*#&d stuff were flying all over — into my mouth, my nose…my eyes.
Said 82 pound dog lost control of his whomp-whomp-whomp and it turned into a WHAP-SPLAT!
That’s the sound it makes when his leg hits your forehead at 92 miles per hour.
I think the yelling scared him away. I didn’t yell for long, though, thanks to gagging on a ton of sand lodged in my throat.
I had to use one of these on my sandpapered sinuses
followed by two of these
Since I need something in my stomach when I take that stuff, I ate about 10 of these
…or maybe more. Somewhere between gagging, rinsing, sneezing, snorting and using up half a box of tissues, I may have eaten a few dozen…
But I’ll deal with that special kind of sick when it starts giving me hell.