I think there should be a club for people with insomnia.
We could call it Insomnia Club United, or ICU…
…and have our meetings here
This could be our theme song
medicate meditate with the talking Chameleon that only people half-insane from lack of sleep can see.
The reason for tonight’s insomnia? A stinky dog fart.
Why, you might ask, would that wake me up?
Because the night before, after a hard rain, followed by several hours of semi-hard rain, I awoke to the same smell.
It wasn’t a dog fart
In fact, it was a river of pee by more than one dog, and 4 piles of dog poop. Spoiled little 50+ pound muttlets didn’t want to use the dog door. They might get their dainty little feet wet, or have to endure a few drops of rain.
I’m uncertain as to how many piles of cat poop were peppered in between, or why it was so hard to find a cat litter box that has been in the laundry room for eternity. If my cats were human they’d be these people:
Anywho…I was up from 2 in the morning until 4. Cleaning this mess took 2 rolls of paper towels, plastic grocery bags, and more bleach that I should be using in a lifetime.
Of course, hubby slept through it all.
His advice? “It’s easier to clean up after it hardens.”
My response? You don’t want to know, really…you don’t.
Yes, he’s still alive, and not in the ICU.
Someone has to fix the toilet.