Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : Force, teeth, feet & truth

July 15, 2018 by floridaborne

Some days, I feel the sarcasm force flowing inside of me

Other days, it’s satire

Most days, it’s both

If you’re wondering who the brain is behind Siri:

Did you know that green is my favorite color…

…but short, green men are a real turn-off no matter how well they can yodel?

Yesterday’s post was about guessing my age. I’m not worried about my friends dying around me, or dying. I’m worried that I won’t remember my username and password when the time comes…

…but worse yet, I dread the possibility of having to get a set of these before I’m 70…

I don’t want that face!

Where, you might ask, does the topic of dentures fit into a sarcasm post? Just ask my dog.

Now, I know people who had dentures before the age of 30 (ex #4 being one of them). But it’s different when it’s ME. Two years ago, I had a partial made. Did you know that everything tastes like the plastic that adheres partials/dentures to the roof of your mouth?

I don’t know about you, but plastic steak is NOT one of my favorites.

A trip to the dentist yesterday revealed at least 7 more rounds of poke and fill, with one round of poke and pull.

Yes, after a full set of x-rays and an exam, I have multiple cavities on 7 teeth and must have yet another one pulled. The dentists exact words were, “Can’t save this one.”

I didn’t know if she was talking about me or the tooth.

I need one less tooth in my mouth like a zombie needs one less brain cell.

The problem is genetics, not dental hygiene. I only have “light” plaque and my gums are healthy. That’s because I brush twice a day until everything gleams, including the tea stains. My sister brushes when she feels like it and…

Why did my sister, who is 3 inches taller than me, get the size 7 feet while I got the size 9 narrow? Do you know what shoes look like on my feet?

Was I a sarcastic clown in another life?

Don’t answer that.

The more important question is, “Why did my sister inherit my father’s titanium teeth while I inherited teeth from my mother with the consistency of chalk?”

I can answer that one with a meme