Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : Free Will
I’ll start out this senseless sarcasm with half a meme
Can you imagine the conversation that led to free will?
God: If I told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times! Don’t go near the cliff. You’ll fall and die.
Humans: We can climb down it.
God: You think you know best? All right. Do whatever the hell you want! I’ll try to talk sense into a planet with sentient life on it.
Humans: You’d abandon us?
God: You abandoned me first. When you screw up and bad things happen, you know it’ll be for a reason.
Humans: What’s the use of knowing there’s an almighty God if you’re not going to stay around to protect us?
God: I will send messengers to guide you…and I will leave you with a humbling reminder of your mistake.
Humans: (with a smirk): And what would that mistake be?
God: Your dismal lack of common sense.
Humans: You said you were leaving us with a gift. Is it gold? Silver? A Corvette?
God (laughing hysterically): No. It’s a real cliff-hanger.
And so… God created cats that we may learn a few important lessons.
Number 1: Everything belongs to God, including your shoes.
Number 2: God will point out your vices and remind you of your purpose in this world.
Number 3: If you still don’t get it after dirty paws or sharpened claws have pointed it out on that computer screen you call “life,” and you continue on your errant path…
Number 4: …God will simply go back to wherever it is that has the capacity to listen.
No more raining for 40 days and 40 nights. If there’s an asteroid coming and we’re too busy fighting each other to see it...
God (with a snicker): Oh well…
Cat: But if my human slaves are gone, who will feed me?
God: All right already! I hear your purrs and I’ll answer them! There’s this planet near Alpha Centauri that worships cats. Pack your yarn balls and your favorite toys. We’re outta here.