Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : Grits and Zen
It’s 11:52 pm. I’m supposed to be sleeping to the meditation music presently playing on YouTube.
Just in case you doubt my resolve to find a way to sleep that doesn’t require a hammer or a high-powered sleeping pill, listen to this for 5 minutes. If you’re not snoring, then you have insomnia, too.
So then, what kept me up this time?
First, it was the dog that wouldn’t stay still.
Then it was this:
Yep. Cheese grits.
My mind couldn’t stop assaulting me with the flavor of grits…Ummm….and so much cheese, deliciousness sparkles in your mouth….
So here I sit, at midnight, listening to Zen music while I munch on cheese grits that I shouldn’t be eating.
Why am I not meditating in my baseball cap surrounded by dogs?
Oh. You’re not interested in that…you want to know the answer to one important question: How does a redneck meditate?
First, you need enough cheese grits in you to be able to do this:
The second secret to redneck meditation is being drunk enough to do this
but it takes a certain breed to do this well:
Then, after enough yoga, grits and liquor, you’re ready for this
If you don’t have a mind, it doesn’t matter; but if your mind is like mine and it won’t take Ohmmmm for an answer, this is what happens
My mind seems desperate in its attempt to make me stay awake. Who the hell thinks of this stuff?
My brain. That’s who!
And there’s always one of these laying near my computer (or in front of the screen).
One day, I will sleep again. I will fall onto the pillow and my mind won’t bounce away from snore-filled oblivion like a 6-year-old on a trampoline.
On that day, I will believe in unicorns.
In fact, I will be riding a unicorn with a basketball player
If you believe that, have I got a car to sell YOU!
Okay…okay… I’m leaving! But if you think that car is disgusting:
Brilliant.
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Thanks. 🙂
That’s the place where my mind goes when it’s sleep deprived. 🙂
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My heart goes out to you while I enjoy a really good belly laugh!
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When I give someone a belly laugh, at least I did something wonderful and productive. The insomnia didn’t win. 🙂
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I quit the music only 1 minute in. But I sleep just not st the correct times. Being normal is over-rated tho. Get that dog somewhere else to sleep. Stop over-thinking everything. Great memes tho. And a hells no to Yoga! Cheers,H
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I’m surprised you didn’t go comatose from boredom after listening to it for one minute. 🙂
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Love the dog ‘just take this half in the middle’. So Maggie!
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…and just like the 4 dogs that were sleeping next to me last night. 🙂
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haha. At least we only have one to negotiate with!
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I wish the brain had a timer like a thermostat so you could shut it off at night and back on in the AM.
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Me, too! Great idea.
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The Zen meditation music should carry a warning label. Don’t listen to this until all your chores are finished. Don’t listen to this while operating heavy machinery–as if you could hear over all that racket. I liked the first cartoon, since I played the role of an electrician for several years.
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Glad you liked it. Being an electrician can be shocking at times. 🙂
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Good one. No resistance from me on that.
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We have to amp up the puns a bit. Not current enough. 🙂
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These are great! Thanks for the laughs. 🙂
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Oh, and the video, too. It’s relaxing but has enough variety to keep my attention.
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The strange thing about those 6 – 8 hour sleep music offerings is that 15 minutes into it they start repeating the same thing over and over again. When you’re 1/2 awake, you want to get up and change the music but can’t seem to get out of bed. It’s a rather interesting kind of torture. 🙂
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I never noticed that. Thanks. 😉
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Thanks for letting me know that I brightened your day. 🙂
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Oh yes, I want to believe in unicorns too! Especially riding one with a jock. :-)Amanda
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Ooooh…as I have told my children on occasion, “I’m old, not dead.” 🙂
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LOL
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