You know you have insomnia when…

You’re so sleep-deprived, you reach for the ginger chews, accidently open the cat treats, and can’t tell the difference.

You just said, “I don’t think what I’m knowing,” your husband is staring at you like you’re insane, and you don’t know why.

Meditation music won’t put you to sleep.

You’re beginning to believe it’s not insomnia, your brain is holding you hostage:

You begin to look like this guy:

you’d like to believe this is true (but after yesterday, you’re sure your brain was stolen and replaced by that of a comatose gerbil).

You’re beginning to wonder if the sheep are conspiring against you

You keep saying to yourself, “If I fall asleep now…” and you  finally do.  But there’s one teensy problem.

You awaken in the morning and the truth almost hits you

You say this mantra over and over, “I’m going to try to get some sleep,”  and your  brain is doing this:

OKAY.  Enough!  I’m going to try to sleep again!