Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : Love

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I’d like to discuss the word “love.” 

As the most overused 4-letter word, it creates the greatest discomfort among those words deemed unmentionable in polite company.

When used in the wrong context, anything from a kick in the balls to homicide is likely to occur.

I’ve been with more than a few creepy people in my life … you know what I mean … the massage-o-nists who think that rubbing your shoulder (and a few other places) is the height of love. 

They’re like shoe shoppers who are looking for the right fit, size and color; the ones who throw you away once you’re too loose for comfort and no longer shine.

You know what I’m talking about  — the kind of men who make you lose your sole!

Then there are the fetishers

“I love oatmeal!”  Until death do you part?  

Doesn’t that make you a cereal killer?

“I love my mattress!” 

When you throw it into the dumpster because it can’t support you any longer, isn’t that mattrescide?

The quintessential question, “Is the word ‘love’ overused?” is answered quite well in this grammatically incorrect fake Einstein meme.

“I’ll always be there for you, my love,” is easy to say.

So is, “I do.”

And you see how well that works out 50% of the time.

A dog is the only creature I know that can be in everybody’s pants and it doesn’t matter.  He’ll be there for YOU…most of the time.  

I can tell you that THIS isn’t true

If you don’t believe me, try petting a hungry dog when there’s a cupcake on the floor.  The difference is, you know this going in.  With humans, you never know what you’re going to get.

Mark my words! 

Yes, I love my dog(s).

But I wouldn’t want to marry one.

I have too much respect for them.

And THAT’s the true definition of love.

Category : humor
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