Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : LATE!

I hate the word hate and yet I hate being late.

That’s an awful lot of hate.

It doesn’t make a lot of sense, either.   My sarcasm post is usually up in the wee hours of the morning, but it is still officially Sunday in the USA even if it’s 4 hours away from midnight.

I mean, really… it’s hard to fire myself if I’m late.  I’d have to see myself every day and talk to the b*#ch as if I liked her.

Beside, blogging isn’t work.

My lazy flare-up (Southern US translation of  laissez faire) comes from years of experience.

When I’m late, it’s only by 2 to 10 minutes.  My cats have trained me well (I like having skin on my legs).  But when their canned food isn’t in front of them at 7:30am and 4:30pm, late is late and there are no excuses!

Coon cat has been known to hold my refrigerator hostage until I comply.

 I’ve had friends who say, “I’ll be there at 10:00,” and arrive at 11:00.

I’ve learned how to deal with that.  Whenever we’re supposed to meet, I’ll say, “Be there at 10:00” when they don’t need to be there until 11.

I don’t get angry, they still feel like they have control over the situation, and if they’ve been sitting there waiting for 15 minutes I tell them,”Oh….didn’t I say 11?  So sorry.”

No, I wasn’t always like that.  I used to call them every 15 minutes to find out why they weren’t on time. The friends I didn’t lose generally sauntered in “whenever” and apologized with a giggle.  

Only one of my friends with a late habit is worth keeping.   She knows that I know that she’s ALWAYS going to be late, so I’m not ready right away.  If she has to wait, she toughs it out.

As for my former friends who didn’t like it when I told them, “Be on time or don’t show up at all,” I have this to say to them…

I suppose if there were a category for people like me, it would be this…

Did you know that I used to be early to EVERYTHING?

I was the one who arrived 20 minutes before the party started.   That lasted until someone did the same thing to me.  It looked something like this.

No…wait.  wrong meme.  That was supposed to be the one that shows what I’m like when I’m drunk.

This is more like it:

Anyway, sorry I was late for the Senseless Sunday Sarcasm Party, but I had a good excuse…um…

If you ever saw it, you’d understand.

Well…it’s better than this excuse,

The same people who say that when they’re late are the same ones who tell you, “I’m on it,” when you ask why their report isn’t on your desk yet.

I’ll try to be on time next week, but I warn you

So don’t mess with me or else..