Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : Aliens

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At the age of 20, one dark and summery night, standing at a beach near Nags Head, California, I looked up at the sky to the north, watching little dots in space stop and make sharp turns.  It reminded me of the way a cat moves to intercept a mouse.

Whoops…wrong image.

I’ll try that again.

That’s better.

Anyway, nothing out there belonging to the US of A could make those kinds of maneuvers.

That I know of…in 1970.

And it was over a military base.

I smell a deep-fried conspiracy!  Were they testing space ships? 

That seems unlikely, given the times.   “Computer” was only a word used in Star Trek and most of my generation still can’t use an Iphone.

It’s more likely that aliens were trying to tell us to stay off their celestial lawn.

Let’s say a bunch of aliens crashed and had to find a job.  What is the one thing an alien could do and no one would notice?

Aliens have been given a bad rap…ummm no…  Poor choices of word. I doubt they like music for the tone deaf, either. 

All 30% of people who believe seem to think they’re out to get us, eat us or save us.

The other 70% of the world population just wants to survive another day.

I blame a lot of the confusion about aliens on human error.

I can understand how a terrified human can make a freshly polished UFO look bad, but what excuse is there for this comedy of errors?

You’d think that if we had a secret space program we’d have cameras that could get a better picture than that.

I keep wondering why they’re here, and the truth hit me like a falling space station. 

  

The aliens are ruining our economy by abducting us for entertainment and dinner! 

Nah!  That can’t be it.  Aliens don’t need our bodies for meat, too many chemicals.  

They have very sensible diets

 And as for shopping sprees, it’s doubtful they’re trying to find the best place to shop in the galactic equivalent of a sewer.  However, they might like to take this home as a souvenir — under quarantine. 

I feel very sorry for any being stranded on this planet.  But I did think of one other job an alien could do and no one would notice they’re strange.

I doubt we have a lot to worry about when it comes to alien abduction.  They seem to prefer other prey

And the signs that they’re not perfect drivers are out there.

I’ll leave you with this profound thought…

Or not.  

I think it’s more likely that Earth is a zoo and once in a while a drunk alien loses control, possibly from laughing at meme’s like this one:

All I know is that once I saw little pin-points of who-knows-what flying over a military base in zigs and zags.  As far as I know, I’ve never seen the inside of a space ship that didn’t look like a capsule or an airbus.

Category : humor
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