Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : Succumbing to the ravages of time

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You see them on the street — old people with canes, wheelchairs and walkers.  You scoff at them and rush past while taking a bite of your burrito.  Then, as you sip on your soda, you wonder how they ended up in that shape.

Well… you see — it started a long time ago in a decade far, far away.

A bit of advice for those of you who like to rock climb

I saw the following on the back of an SUV at a nursing home when I was 50, only there was no turtle attached to it.  I think it was a sign. 

 Two months later I was in outpatient surgery getting my retinas lasered back into place and scleral buckles sewn into both eye.

Before surgery, my eyes didn’t hurt.  Of course, I would’ve been blind and pain free without it, but some days you just gotta weigh the options and say, “Screw it, I can grab an Ibuprofen.”

At the time, I was working out and could carry a 120 pound man on my back in piggy-back position. 

Obviously, I didn’t see this one coming:

After my eye surgery, I found I’d hit a milestone

Yep.  I’d lived long enough to find a way to terrify my family.  All I had to say was, “I’m driving.”

Back to the guy too focused on his burrito and soda to think about what that was going to do to him 2 decades from now.

That’s the problem.  We think we’ll be 20 forever.  Then 30 comes along and we’re wondering, “What did I do to deserve this?”

Well, what’s the alternative, a craniectomy?  I advise you not to lose your head over the big 3 point 0.  When you’re 50, the age of 30 is going to sound pretty d@%#ed good.

But having an unhealthy diet isn’t the only thing that kills.  It just kills you slowly as it sucks the life out of your brain and your joints. 

Want to die quicker?  Here’s a suggestion.

So you’re probably wondering, “What does the old bag writing this post look like?”

I’m the one in pink. 

Ah, the power of vitamins!

 

Category : humor
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