Senseless Sunday #Sarcasm : #Cat affront
Dear inferior creatures,
If you don’t have the capacity to understand to whom I am referring, I’ll spell it out for you:
D O G S and H U M A N S
Below is a list of affronts to your superiors. Obviously, you don’t have the capacity to understand who, exactly, I am referring to…
…so I’ll spell it out for you:
C A T S
- Never roll around in my grass. It is an insult of the highest order. If you continue this behavior, I will be forced to roll in your dog food after the human has slathered me with flea powder.
2. I don’t find it humorous to be slathered with flea powder while I am in the midst of eating tuna. You will pay dearly for this, human! I will poop on your chocolate cake when you’re not looking.
3. Delusional human! When I’m sitting in front of your feet, it is not “cute,” and it is an affront to be called a “guard cat.” I’m doing it to protect the hands that open my food can. Remember that, or the next time you’re ready to walk out the door wearing a new knit dress, I will create a few slits in it for you.
…and for the last, and worst of affronts
4. I don’t care what you do with it once it’s out of my body, but don’t sniff my delicate derrière while I’m stretching!!!! My title is “Your Royal Highness,” not “Your Royal Hind @$$.”
Dogs are an affront to cat civility, hygiene and the antithesis of dignity. Humans are a necessary evil. You will learn to respect me or face the consequences.
Sincerely stated with all the respect you deserve,
Other Brother Coon Cat
🤣🤣🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
He can be quite vocal. I don’t know what decibel he meows at, but it’s loud…very, very loud. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
My Sonu Singh is currently asleep beside me… after having miaowed himself hoarse by the back door!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can relate! Me-ouch!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😻
LikeLike
This is brilliant. I am still laughing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just back from hospital I visit every day as my 20 year old son has been in for 6 months.I would just like too thank you so much for the blog…..really cheered me up loved it so much had too share it on my WordPress.x🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾😻😸💕 Cats Rule….me-ow.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. 🙂
It pains my heart to hear that your son is ill. If my blog can help you cheer up and keep on keeping on, I’m humbled.
LikeLike
Thanks. 🙂
Happiness is sharing the humor.
LikeLike
That white tail tip is just the cutest thing in the world!
LikeLiked by 1 person
His tail is a foot long (30.5 centimeters). And does he EVERY know how to use it. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Whoa. Number 4. Potential death sentence for Mr Nose. Did he come out without a swipe across his nose?
LikeLiked by 1 person
He’s had more than his share of warnings. Unfortunately, the Rottie Mutt is (to put it bluntly but truthfully) a big ol’ dumb dog with the heart and the eyes of a puppy One day I fear that nose will resemble shredded wheat. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
😄😊 love them big dumb mutts
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLike
Dogs! No shame!
LikeLiked by 1 person
They can be so funny! Like the cats, they think they own the place.
LikeLike
#4: my two cats are fascinated by each others’ rear ends but I imagine being sniffed by another feline is not as rude as being sniffed by a dog!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Seconds after that picture was taken, said cat jumped a few feet — the effects of a cold nose on an unprepared rear. 🙂
LikeLike