Senseless Sunday Sarcasm : Insurance

Right now, this seems to express my Insurance quandary sarcasm quite well

When hubby#2 died on me (figuratively, not literally) in 1983, I took out a life insurance policy a few months later so that if anything happened to me, the family members taking care of my children (5 and 7 at the time) would have enough to help them through it.

Little did I know that…

Insurance is nothing more than roulette gambling at a casino.

One that’s allowed to change the rules in mid-spin.

I suppose there are reasons why car insurance can get expensive…

…but when it comes to life insurance?  

You either need it or you don’t.

Judging from my present situation, you’d think I bought life insurance from this guy

or this one

More than likely, it was this one

Had I been stupid and died from “Hey y’all, watch this!!” syndrome, my family would have enough money at this moment to buy all new kitchen appliances.

But noooooo….  I just had to be to ornery to die!

In 1984, I trusted my insurance agent and believed him when he said…

What he recommended was something new on the market called Universal life insurance.  

Only this month did I truly understand the meaning of that term.  

They failed to advise me that they had dropped an important descriptor and one very important word:  Bad.

As in Universally bad life insurance.

I know.  It seems so hard to believe, but here are the lies and the facts

Lie:  You can use it as a savings account.  It’s your money and you can use it when you want to.

Truth:  If you put $7,000 into it and take out $3,000 to repair your roof, you have to pay back the “loan” or have the face value of your life insurance policy reduced by that amount.

Lie:  We’ll tell you when your premium goes up.

Truth:  Once a year, you get a statement.  If the premium went up a month after your last statement, you’ll find that the shortfall has been deducted from your “savings.”

And, hey, the policy has only been sold off 4 times to entities I’ve never heard of.  

Well, I was very, very lucky this time.  My statement arrived 3 months before my next birthday. My premium shot up from $75 per month to $266.

Yep.  You read that right.


I think they do this to induce a heart attack so I’ll be too busy recovering to notice I don’t have a policy left until I’m out of the hospital and owe $250,000 in medical bills.

Little do they know that I do yoga, take vitamins, and have 6 dogs.

Want to know more about why it’s a universally bad policy?

I can surrender the policy if I want, but can only take out about 75% of the money that I put in there 30 years ago.  

Yep. You read that right.   

If I do start paying $266 this year, there’s no guarantee that it’s not going to go up to $1,266 next year.

As for what you should do instead, here ARE 2 Ideas:

  1.  Shop around for only what you need.

2.  Invest in something you can sink your teeth in.

Food for thought.

If I’ve prevented one other person from making the same mistake, I’m happy.