Stream of Consciousness Saturday #SOCS : So….I’m back to work

Well…

If it’s true that you reap what you sow, I’m experiencing an amazing harvest.

In a GOOD way.

After 2 months and 8 days of retirement, I received an unexpected phone call, “Would you consider coming back to work for a few months?”

How about ‘until I die,’ I thought.

After 2 months where my “disposable” income hovered around $50, I said, without hesitation, “Yes.”

You have to understand something very important.  Most people think of disposable income as money to go to restaurants or movies, buy cars and save in the bank.  That $50 was my food allowance for the month and whatever was left over went to buy potato chips (the stacked kind that loosely meet the definition of a pressed potato-like substance).

It seems that my job isn’t as easy as I make it look, or so I’m told.  From my point of view, I just happen to fit into a very narrow window for a job that requires a crusty bureaucrat who excels at being a professional nag and doesn’t care if you’re in the bathroom with diarrhea at the moment — this form MUST be signed NOW.

There’s this pesky problem called “recoupment” (aka payback) if these 200+ reports a year aren’t completed before the deadline.

My retort to protestations over my rather obsessive outlook on avoiding payback has always been, “I don’t care if you like me, I’m not here to be liked.” 

So then, what exactly do I do?  I sew a perfect quilt out of the pieces of information I’m given and write it into a report that gets signed by 4 people.  Then I track where the report has gone and call when it isn’t back after a few days or hunt it down if I have to.   I copy it, mail it, distribute it in-house and go on to the next report.

I couldn’t understand why a WHOLE lot of people I rarely ever see, came up to me and said, “I’m glad you’re back.”

Why, you might ask, would anyone want to see the Southern version of Maxine back at work?

It would be nice to delegate an essential part of the job, copying and dissemination of these reports, to 40 different people in 14 different buildings and expect 2 others to do the tracking.  Unfortunately, people already overworked who are trying to do their own job are going to put someone else’s responsibility to the side.

The resulting chaos, as I understand it, was a lot like trying to herd porcupines during a meteor storm.

Whether I’ve reaped what I’ve sown, or sewed what I’ve cut…It feels good to be appreciated!