Senseless Sunday Sarcasm: Miserable Me, a #Cats Tale
Hello, Humans. Coon Cat here.
I’m coming to you live from Podunk, Florida.
Dinner is late…again, so I’ve taken up residence on Mom’s computer until she feeds me. Why? It makes her nervous.
You see, she’s a writer.
Like I care?
I don’t like any of her books. None of them are about cats.
Mom frightened me earlier today. She climbed on top of the roof to take a picture of Florida in winter from 2 1/2 stories high.
I was afraid she’d die and no one would feed me.
Dad’s mean. He shooed me off the bird feeder. There I was, quietly waiting for a bird to think I was a log and Dad starts stomping around.
Poor, miserable me! I only get 2 cans of food a day. I have to supplement my diet somehow.
Why did I have to be rescued by people who live in a dog house? Why would they think that topping off the dry food when it gets low means anything?
Dry food is sooo…dog.
Couldn’t someone who hates birds take me in and feed me the 3 cans of food I deserve each day?
But, alas, my dreams of living in a dog-free zone will never be.
And I’ll spend the rest of my life enduring the indignity of being forced to share the top of Mom’s printers with my brother.
I love this!
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Thanks. 🙂 It really is soooo cat.
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I would love for you to live with me but I stay in Scotland and its always cold and raining and I know your mum and dad would miss you so much as would your brother and believe it or not the dogs too.I bet you don’t feel so bad now you have blogged it all.Your really so lucky to have all those around you who really love and care for you,im sure your mum didn’t mean to frighten you sometimes times us humans do things without thinking it out first as im sure you will know.Love and hugs to all.x
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Coon Cat seemed to be getting bored with his canned food, so we’re trying something new. He’s presently siphoning it into his stomach and can’t come up for air just yet.
Thanks for the invitation. It’s always nice to know he has somewhere to go if I irritate him too much. BTW: When it reaches 70F, he’s the first one cuddling on my lap for warmth. Definitely a Florida cat. 🙂
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Damnit, stop posting gorgeous photos of fur. It makes me pine to hug something big and squeezable. You’re making my relationship sabbatical unnecessarily difficult. I’m going to go look at photos of Jason Momoa now.
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Pine away. They are big and pettable, and squeezable. His brother is presently sleeping on my desk — not his side, but on top of my papers. It’s so cute. 🙂
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There’s a Maine Coon next door but he’s gotten stingy with the affection. Men.
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Coon Cats tend to be aloof. They are the most affectionate when they’re cold and want a lap for warmth. 🙂
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He started off flirty and I encouraged that with occasional treats. Bacon is the diamond ring of man gifts.
Things got complicated when he went toe to toe with another neighbor’s big bruiser asshole cat last summer. Now, they use my yard in between like a cage match to scream and yowl at one another at 3 in the morning. I can’t bellow at one without spooking the other.
So, he’s probably a little confused although when I catch him all alone, he gives all the signs of still being in love with me. He’s just playing hard to get. Men.
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Omg! Like having a dog-free environment would make the least bit of difference to where a cat would choose to sleep?! And those pictures are not helping me at all to avoid my pre-dinner kip! And I just had coffee!!!
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When it comes to cats, I often wonder if the one redeeming quality preventing them from extinction was their soothing, addictive, purr. 🙂
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