Going to hell in a garbage pail
Talk about weird and unexpected.
This is the road in front of my house:
As you can tell, it’s heavily populated…
with trees.
The road going by my back yard has a mobile home and a “house” that I’ll call a glorified tent.
To protect the identity of those who might disagree with my assessment of the situation, the glorified tent once belonged to a person who had a son. The son passed away in his early 20’s. After that kind of grief, who wants to live in a place so full of memories? The former owner sold it, moved to another county, and left a remnant of family behind.
Everything from party goers to crack addicts have lived in that ridiculously overpriced excuse for a residence over the past 13 (or more) years.
Only 3 of the residents were great neighbors.
The bad ones all had one thing in common. Every relationship ended badly, and they vacated the structure after splitting up.
We attribute these events to the ghost that inhabits it. He has good taste in people. After all, he likes us. He just doesn’t care a whole lot for thieves, crack heads and party goers.
Which leads me to the title of this pitiful post.
For the past 15 years, I’ve had 2 garbage cans in various poses out near the back road. Why, because there are some places that garbage trucks refuse to go, and the road to the front of our house is one of them.
Garbage trucks that are particular about the road they travel, aren’t as particular about how they treat your garbage cans. So…after another one was crushed under an uncaring wheel, my sis-in-law accompanied me to Lowe’s, where I found 2 very expensive trash cans with attached lid, wheels, and a 3 tall-kitchen-garbage-bag capacity.
Similar to what my garbage cans look like, only they’re a lot older and cost $89 instead of $55 apiece.
For as long as it takes to grow a driving-age kid, these impressively sturdy protectors of putridness stayed in the weather outside the fence and no one ever bothered them.
Until yesterday.
Some piece of garbage stole one of them. It happened the same day that new neighbors moved into the glorified tent.
The new neighbors couldn’t possibly be that stupid.
Could they?
What am I going to do…call the police and say, “Hey, someone stole one of my 15-year-old garbage cans that I leave outside the gate all the time?”
Yeah. Right.
No worries. If we were blessed with a new set of unsavory neighbors, the ghost that haunts the glorified tent will drive them away. We’ll just sit back, listen to the sounds of arguing, wait a few months, and wonder, “Who will be the next icons of civilization to move in?”
Dear neighbour
Help! We are trapped in our vintage Yurt by a haunted garbage bin that followed us on our first day
It came inside complaining that it never was allowed inside and felt lonely. We tried explaining that she was yours – she says her name is Gloria – but she gets upset and belches tacos until we promise she can stay.
Yours in desperation
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hahahaha…. Very nicely imagined.
I have a friend named Gloria, but can’t eat tacos. 🙂
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I would actually report the missing garbage can. Theft is theft and is wrong. Those things are expensive!
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As the economy worsens and more people lose their jobs, more theft is bound to occur. But…a garbage can? That’s crazy.
I consider this “a shot across the bow” and will pay more attention when the 2 dogs of our long-time neighbor, and our 4 dogs, start barking in the wee hours of the morning.
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Garbage Can Thieves are Rubbish Neighbors Joelle – Lets hope the ghost kicks them out soon.
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Wouldn’t that be a great video! People running out of the yard screaming, a haunted garbage can in hot pursuit.
I don’t know who-dun-it, and I’m speculating based on the “quality” of most of the past occupants.
But…
Finding the humor in it as I wrote about the theft gave me a good laugh. 🙂
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So was it full of garbage at the time it was taken? The least the garbage could have done is taken away some garbage with them. One evening I put my trash can out, then went into the house. An hour later went out to the car as we were going out for the evening and saw the can was gone. We were late and decided to deal with it when we got back. When we got back, so was the trash can. Apparently, who ever it was didn’t want a trash can full of trash.
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Funny!
Unfortunately, trash day had come and gone. We put the trash out the day before to minimize the possibility of animals knocking it over. I never planned what I would do if the animals wanted to take it. 🙂
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Guess you’ll just have to super glue notice of ownership on several sides of the can. That way thieves may feel more guilty. Aso, be aware that in some cities the city provides a recycling container that is free. Perhaps they thought it was theirs to use? Have you tried an educational visit? A fun way to meet neighbors. I recall receiving my first visit from a neighbor long ago. She said when I opened the door,”Mrs. Mykel, did you know you have roaches in your garbage?”
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That’s one heck of a way to say hello. Anyone who thinks they don’t have roaches somewhere on their property is delusional. 🙂
The first thing I checked out when I moved here over 2 decades ago was whether or not the garbage cans were provided. Yes, the recycling containing is free, but there is no standard can.
I’d thought about putting an identifying mark or something like that on it, but that seemed overly paranoid at the time.
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Your house number painted in foot tall white on the side would make it stand out well. Taking it out to the road only on trash day would limit exposure. I don’t have that problem. I live in a “covenant” community and can only put my garbage cans out in public view on trash pickup day, otherwise, home-owner association president Eva Braun will send storm-troopers to my house. What disappears here is any garden art or potted plants. I lost one tree in a pot. I keep them all in the rear now.
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Great idea!
I remember a very satisfying story about a man who moved his family into a community just to find out the homeowners association was like the gestapo. It took several years, but he and like-minded neighbors got together, ran for office and when they were finally the overwhelming majority, they disbanded the homeowners association. 🙂
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