You
Well…
I took one of those ridiculous Facebook “tests.” You know what I’m talking about. Some company mining your information gives you 12 questions, everyone makes 100% and shares it with all their friends.
The test I’m going to complain about is a bit different from other ones. It calculates all the words you’ve written on Facebook and tells you which ones you use the most.
What one word do I used the most?
I
Yes, a big fat I stared at me from the center ring of an alphabet word soup. Does it matter that my second most-used word was LOVE? No! As I’ve said many times, second place is like almost jumping over the Grand Canyon. You’re just as dead.
Instead of rattling on about myself, it’s time that I started listening to others more often…
…so, I’ve decided to talk about you…
but I need some ammunition help before I can talk about you with other people. Please feel free to write your answers in the reply section.
- What was your most embarrassing moment?
- Did you have a nickname you hated as a child?
- Have you experienced a disastrous relationship? If so, can you provide his or her phone number.
- Who is your worst enemy, who is your best friend, and are they on Facebook? Do they like to sit in Starbucks and talk about you for hours at a time?
Thank you for helping me get past the need to talk only about myself.
Have a nice day.
Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
Please call over and help Joelle out by leaving your answers in the comments under her blogpost 😀
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1. On a windy day while walking to school up went my skirt, and I suddenly remembered that which I had forgot *whispers* was knickersless
2.Cat, Cheese and Moggy.
3.Who hasn’t and If I knew that his life may be in danger…
4. My ex husband. My husband is and he’s reluctantly on facebook and we sit together usually in Costa’s and talk about each other to each other.
I hope the above helps in your quest to be … less self important.
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LOLOL LOVE IT Ellen – Now go post them on Joelle’s blog comments 😄😄😄
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Done job!
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👍
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As soon as I finish replying to all the fantastic and tantalizing answers, I’m checking out the answers on your blog. 🙂
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Yes, self-importance is such a heavy burden. Thanks for lifting it from my weary shoulders. 🙂
You had me at “knickerlsless” with a giant LOL!
Having an ex who is both your worst enemy and best friend is quite a balancing act. I hope Costa’s has a policy of free coffee for Police. 🙂
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No! *agggghhhh* sorry for that, my now husband is my best friend. I don’t think Costa has such an arrangement but my Now hubs is ex police, so keeps an eye out in case of any fast movement. .. from me.
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Wow! 2 great attributes in 1 man! You are sooooo fortunate.
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And don’t I know it *smugness* 😇
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Thanks, Chris. I’ll be awaiting the answers with a sinister smile. 🙂
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Don’t forget to give the occasional cackle Joelle 😄😄😄
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As a professional henpecker (aka nagger), it comes naturally. 🙂
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😱🙀😄😄😄
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There has been a lull in creative endeavors at this blog address. So, any publicity is good publicity. I’m in a hurry, so here goes. #1 “Gravy all over my face episode. #2, Yes, there were several–not including “Boogerhead.” #3 Yes–her number and name is written on every truck stop bathroom wall. #4 Seriously, I’m my own worst enemy. My best friend is my spouse. We never go to Starbucks. We use our own special blend of coffee and it doesn’t cost a “zillion” bucks a cup. I spend hours talking to myself. Hope this helped.
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It helped a lot! Great answers! Thanks for brightening my day. 🙂
Pain, winter, and fatigue tend to dull creative endeavors. Perhaps you, your best friend and I could meet one day over a hot cup of tea in a cozy kitchen and talk about life. It probably wouldn’t be my kitchen. There’s a dog bed where a table should be. 🙂
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That would be splendid. I’m looking forward to going on a cruise next week from Port Everglades. We’ve had some heavy family things happen this year and need to get away. Your kitchen is like our youngest daughter’s. We’re all pet lovers. Unfortunately my female dog doesn’t like cats. As you may know, they’re adopted strays. Who knows what they went though in the past?
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It’s hard to be creative when your heart is so heavy.
That is absolutely true about our pets. We don’t know what they’ve been through. Our white dog was abandoned and it was obvious to us from the first that she’d experienced abuse. When she came to live with us, any sudden moves or a harsh voice made her yelp as if someone was hurting her. Over the years, she’s learned that the beds belong to her and the only thing she has to fear from us is being overfed. 🙂
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Thanks–I’m just now getting back to whatever normal is. Maggie cringes when someone holds up a mop or rake. When my wife rattles pots and pans, she come to me for comfort-puts her head behind my back. I sometimes think I’m their protector, instead of the other way around.
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1. On a windy day while walking to school up went my skirt, and I suddenly remembered that which I had forgot *whispers* was knickersless
2.Cat, Cheese and Moggy.
3.Who hasn’t and If I knew that his life may be in danger…
4. My ex husband. My husband is and he’s reluctantly on facebook and we sit together usually in Costa’s and talk about each other to each other.
I hope the above helps in your quest to be … less self important.
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I love to talk about me. I took that test and like you, my most used word was “I.” The second most used was “me” and third was “mine.” I see nothing wrong with that. By the way, they won’t let me into Starbucks. My human tells me it’s because I’m too handsome, but I don’t know. They won’t let him in either, but that’s another story. If they did let him in, I’m sure his entire conversation would be filled with talk about me. The only problem is no one wants to talk to him.. . . .
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That’s very cat of you. Were you a cat in another life? Most dogs adore their 2-footed companions. 🙂
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If you knew Andrew like I know Andrew, you wouldn’t adore him either. And this time, I’ll forgive you for calling me a cat because I liked your post so much.
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Thanks. 🙂
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To be called a cat is a compliment, stupid …
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I love my 4-footed companions, whether cat or dog. The difference is that a dog will stay by your side and die with you, but a cat won’t allow a little loyalty to get in the way of food. 🙂
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A dog will not even wait for your demise to eat you, a cat will only eat you when dead. That is the real difference. And yes, I have articles to proof that!
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LOL!
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I haven’t eaten a human in weeks. I kinda swore of ’em. But if you keep callin’ me stupid, I’ll have to rethink my thinking vis a vis eating humans.
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You, Danny, are too small to be a danger to a human. Trust me on that – I survived a boxer when I was a toddler, and I educated our German shepherd when I was not even 12. I can even teach cats manners, little one. That should tell you something about me! So you should choose your battles accordingly. Or you are indeed what you do not like to be called.
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We all love our 4-footed companions. I’ve loved and lost both cats and dogs.
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You know what? I did not come here to fight. I got a bone with name on it waiting for me. So I gotta go. I hope that some day you can let the hatred that lives in your heart for dogs escape. Let it go . . . allow it to fly away to another land that harbors hate. I’m sure that is not where you live.We are all God’s creatures, from the least to . . even Andrew, my hapless human.
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I am not hating dogs. I just think they are inferior to cats.
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I have 2 coon cats and 4 dogs. All my 4-footed companions are rescues and I love every one that has graced my life.
Please, Danny and Fran, a bit of rivalry done in fun is fine, but this isn’t the place for cats vs. dogs in an arena.
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I got cha. But what I am saying is that we can all have our preferences. God knows that I prefer females of the human persuasion much more than the yucky males. But I’m stuck with one, so what is a poor dog to do? I love cats. If fact, I wrote a story about it. You should read and then you’d want to adopt me. The story shows how a dog can love and care for a kitten. It is a true story. I know because I was there and saw it with my own eyes. http://thestoryreadingapeblog.com/2016/01/26/danny-and-cinnamon/
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I just read it. Cute. And the kitten is adorable, too. 🙂
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I read that story, Danny.
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Sorry I got carried away, It’s just the dog in me. I’ll be good from now on . . . at least until I’m not.
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Do not apologize. You see, I am not the most diplomatic person myself … sometimes I should keep my fingers still and not type.
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I resemble that remark. If I had a nickel for every time I did the same, I’d be able to afford a mansion. 🙂
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I’m in India now. If I answered all those questions I may not be able to return to the land of my birth for fear I’d be shot (not really). I loved The Ape’s answers. I couldn’t do better than that. 😀 — Suzanne
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Not sure why I’m doing this as I’m new here (and it seems kind of cheeky) but here goes
1. catching my foreskin in my fly just before an important business meeting; the light grey suit turned out to be a mistake
2. Lard
3. Doesn’t matter; the gecko died
4. Ditto above – me = worst enemy and spouse = best friend; yes I talk about myself all the time; my spouse never mentions me in the public domain
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Can I say, “OWWWW?” Would it be inappropriate to tell you that I’ve watched it happen and had to cover my ears?
Lard? That nickname is even worse than “cootie” and the giver of that name needs to be whopped upside the head.
I dated a lizard once. He was so cold and never wanted to move off the couch. It didn’t end well.
Your spouse sounds like a “keeper.” 🙂
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Thank you for this and being so understanding
And yes the wife is locked away safe and sound!
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After reading a couple of your posts, I doubt you lock your wife away. You just take her on vacations and make her sit next to really weird people. 🙂
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I’m a sucker for quizzes but I think I’ll pass on the one about which word I use the most. However, I’ll answer yours, because you didn’t say anything about scoring my answers! 🙂
(1) A huge wave hit me hard one gorgeous summer day. The undertow pulled me out and my bathing suit off. (2) Four eyes. By a kid I had a mad crush on. Talked about “crush”ed. (3) No. Guess I should keep looking?? (4) Prefer to remain silent but yes, they are both on FB and no, we never sit in Starbucks or anywhere else.
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But will they sit in Starbuck’s so that I can talk to them about you? 🙂
Been there with the bathing suit, sort of. I went down a water slide and the top slipped to my waist. Some guy followed me through the water park. Creepy. After losing the bathing suit, how did you get out of the water without being arrested?
No, don’t keep looking. If you’re content, you don’t need that kind of pain. If you’re not content, you don’t need that kind of pain.
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Hey, FB, that WAS creepy! What happened was that the top was around my belly and the bottoms around my ankle (and full of freakin’ sand!) so I never lost it completely. Had one hand over as much of my chest as possible, the other trying to pull the bottoms back up from around my knees…probably part of the reason I kept getting knocked down by wave after wave, I should’ve just said the hell with the suit and got outta there! Hubby was with me but not near me, and when he could stop laughing (half kidding), he finally managed to get to me and help me up – and help with the suit too. 🙂 Funny now, scary then!
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Especially with hubby trying to help while he was laughing. That piles more humiliation on top of an already humiliating experience. Glad you and hubby lived to tell about it. 🙂
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#1 – the first and only dress I ever made, fell apart and off of me the first and only time I ever wore it, while at a backyard party filled with about 100 people I didn’t know (and around 20 that I did know) thank goodness I was only 20 at the time and have had time to recover… #2 Pookie #3 – which one? #4 – trouble is, I never know what it is that I have done, specifically, to piss people off, so I guess they are ALL suspect… Starbucks? Yes, that is where why all are, some place I never go… just like them to hide their smarmy faces and chatter endlessly about me, because they know I shall not enter their den of devils!
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Talk about unravelling at the seams! That had to be traumatic.
As someone who has had 5 husbands and a multitude of disastrous relationships, the answer “which one?” holds within it great meaning.
Fortunately, the closest Starbuck’s is an hour drive from my home, but when I visited my sister for editing we’d go there for an hour just to get out of the house. 🙂
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It was a great humiliator for sure. What was remarkable about it, was that I was at my BFF’s HS graduation party. Her father very calmly, walked over to me, wrapped me in a beach towel, escorted me to the garage and disappeared. When he returned, he had a sewing kit, my dress and a cocktail. We sat there in total silence while he mended my dress, I drank and not a word was ever said about the incident. So, I guess I actually did wear that dress a second time, on the way home… THEN I used it to dust the house.
The relationship comment? Well, I must say that even though I have only had one husband, I managed to keep my dance card full without the muss or fuss of legalities… Some pleasant, others, well, let’s just say some were pleasant!
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LOL! That is a great story and your friend’s father was a saint. I can’t imagine a better use for an Insubordinate dress than dusting.
One of the lessons learned from a disastrous relationship; ’tis better to be the leaver than the leavee. I broke that rule 1 time after I created it. 🙂
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Reblogged this on NANMYKEL.COM.
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Thanks for reblogging. 🙂
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What was your most embarrassing moment?
I tend to forget those – I try really hard to do that! My therapist says I must.
Did you have a nickname you hated as a child? Ziska – pronounced like Tsisska
Have you experienced a disastrous relationship? Yes, with an Alcoholic, for 13 years
If so, can you provide his or her phone number. I think – unless they have finally upgraded the phone numbers from there.
Who is your worst enemy, who is your best friend, and are they on Facebook?
Don’t know about worst enemies – the worst are those who are secret, non? My best friend? A couple of best friends, all of which I met while at university.
Do they like to sit in Starbucks and talk about you for hours at a time? Nope.
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If I forgot all my most embarrassing moments, I might remember a year of my life. 🙂
2 of my 3 divorces were alcoholics. The excuses! Nothing was ever their fault and the twist and turns in logic they used to blame their problems on others would’ve been laughable under other circumstances. No need to provide a phone number for that one. 🙂
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Have no juicy quips to add although I giggle while reading this post. Sounds everyone’s having a ball here. 😀 😀
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This day has been the most fun since…since…
What’s my name again? 🙂
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Yes, I know I’m late, but here are my answers:
1) Sitting in a stall in the bathroom and realizing I was in the mens’ room.
2) Jolly Green Giant (I was 5’9″ in high school, which was very tall in comparison to most of my classmates).
3) Yes. No.
4) I proclaim I have no enemies at this time. I have a few best friends, and yes they are on FB. None of my BFF’s like Starbucks coffee very much, which means we are all in agreement. If I must drink their coffee, it is a Cafe Misto with the blonde roast.
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Hopefully, you didn’t pick up any diseases off the lid. 🙂
My mom grew to almost her full height by the time she was 13. She wasn’t enamored with the tall-girl names given to her, either. Didn’t kids in high school know the jolly green giant was a male vegetable?
Starbucks is the place people go to gossip. That’s why no one who has answered these questions go there. 🙂
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LOL…no diseases!!!
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