Darkness and Light

The windmills of my mind in darkness and in light

Well, God, the universe or whatever you may be, I’ve found a way to create mostly dark in a place where the outside lights are always on and the laptop screen can’t be turned off.  There’s so much I have to work through.

You’ve already worked through it, you’re simply learning that understanding is not the same as internalizing the solution.

The minute I got off the plane, I became that annoying little sister again.  I feel like I’m 5 years old and nothing I say is right.

Do you love your sister?

Of course.

Does she love you?

Without a doubt.

Put this into perspective.  You see the achievements of your children, how they shine as adults, but when you’re with them you’re mommy. They, too, fall into roles they no longer fit into. Appreciate the love you and your sister have for each other, and understand how much editing stresses her out.

The love, I appreciate.  But I just want to get my book edited without falling into the political correctness snake pit.

You’re out of your comfort zone, and even when you don’t talk politics you feel as if you’re treated like you’re out of your mind.  In turn, you consider California the country’s largest insane asylum.

That about covers it, and for good reason.  The view from my sister’s picture windows is spectacular with lights sparkling below as if the entire valley is celebrating Christmas year round.  Mountains looming in the distance are the backdrop of spectacular sunsets.   But the feeling that something isn’t right looms heavy on my heart.  It’s like everyone here is living at the base of Mount Vesuvius and I’m visiting Pompeii.

Your sister lives on a fault line that’s going to devastate the valley and you’re concerned there won’t be anything left of her or her home when that earthquake hits.

Is there such a thing as 200 on the Richter scale? 

No, Earth isn’t going to fall to pieces because everything in one small valley is torn asunder.

Why is beauty often paired with danger?  Why does culture often create its own turmoil? Why…

In another 100,000 years, no one is going to care about the current views on politics, pride or property.

Probably because we’ll kill ourselves off.

There is that possibility.

That is so NOT reassuring.

Some people are nearsighted, some are farsighted.   They see the world differently but that doesn’t make the world a different place.  Perception doesn’t change truth, it changes what people believe is truth. The entire universe is constructed on yin and yang, balance of darkness and light.   

Being in California is like being stranded on an Island where people believe they can stand in front of a tsunami and will it away with tambourines and chanting.

That is light refusing to accept the darkness.  Remember what you used to say when you lived in California?

Whatever is happening in California will spread throughout the country like a cancer.

That is the darkness refusing to accept the light, and that’s where the root of your worry begins.