Things that make me go, “Why?”
Things that belong under the heading of,
“Why?”
- In public restrooms: Why do hand driers in Florida spin out hot air while hand driers in Minnesota blast out cold air?
- In Florida offices: Why does it feel like I’m going from the oven to the freezer to the desk (table) during the summer and like I’m going from the freezer to the oven to the table when I walk into an office during the winter?
What am I…corning ware?
- Why are 1/2 the people in Florida sick from Thanksgiving to spring?
- Isn’t winter miserable enough without getting chills when it’s below 70 degrees?
Go ahead, world, laugh at the fact that true Floridians are acclimated to 100 degree weather with 100 degree humidity and no air conditioning.
You think it’s so cool that you’re toasty warm while your best friend in Vermont is digging out of the latest blizzard:
borrowed from: legaladdictivestimulants.blogspot.com
You howl out your glee when you’re strutting down the beach in your swim wear and you stumble on this sight:
damnlol.com
But we’re the ones laughing when you come to Florida in September and end up looking like this
while we’re looking like this
betafilm.com
…and you’re too busy suffering from heat stroke to enjoy it!
If you want to know what Florida is like in the summer,
- visit Disney World in July,
- walk on the beach at night without bug repellent, and
- then forget to put on your sun block when you visit a water park.
If you’re not in a burn unit and covered in bug bites, you haven’t seen the real Florida.
When will you know you’ve finally participated in your own personal Florida reality show? The moment this is at the top of your “Why?” list:
“Why the hell did I ever think I wanted to live in Florida! I’d rather shovel snow!”
You could live in Southern California, where it is 60 degrees one day and 75 the next and keeps yo-yoing throughout the month. Two days ago I wore shorts; today I’m wearing long pants and a sweater. Hooray for Hollywood!
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I lived in the San Francisco area for 3 years. I still remember dressing in a tank top/t-shirt/sweat shirt and shorts/sweatpants in the morning and systematically removing clothing during the day.
If you live anywhere near Palm Springs, I’ll be in the area during the holidays. I love meeting other bloggers. 🙂
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No, I live in the San Fernando Valley. If you ever get into this area, let me know. Have happy, warm holidays in Palm Springs.
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Hard to believe that’s 129 miles away. My sister has to pick me up in Ontario, Ca.
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I attempted to tent camp in Florida’s interior in July near Naples, FL. The bugs, skeeters, sand fleas were terrible. We went to the beach, stayed in the water the entire day till evening. This was the only vacation where we left early. Not to mention the alligator found in the kid’s swimming area. I walked to the shower house one night in the dark and tripped over one of the posts around the parking, completely doing a back flip.
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That sounds about right. Thanks for the excellent testimony.
Did you have lizards running over your face after the 3 inch cockroach that preceded him? Once, I had ants on my face, too.
The first time I walked on a Florida beach at night, I was on a date. The next day I was covered in sand flea bites. And I thought mosquito bites were itchy!
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No lizards–only crazed squirrels. My two pre-teen daughters left shoestring potato snacks in their luggage against my advice. Squirrels chewed their way in-destroyed the luggage.
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Not that I liked the fact that squirrels chewed up your kids luggage, I’m liking the testimony that there are also crazed squirrels in Florida.
They’re like micro grizzly bears. 🙂
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Our experience was equally bizarre. It was a total disaster on the Gulf side. The first week spent on the Atlantic side near Jupiter, FL at my wife’s uncle’s residence. There’s too much to recount here. I may do a post on this experience.
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