Missing you, Blue


Well, God or whatever I’m talking at, here I am again at the same time and place typing in the dark.  The Gentle Giant is sleeping in back of my office chair, there are 2 doggies snoring on my bed and here I sit worrying about the doggie that’s missing. 

Losing sleep over it isn’t going to help, neither are the oatmeal raisin bars you’re shoving into your body.

He’s so frightened of thunder and lightning.  I wish I’d looked at the radar to see if a storm was coming.

Every person who loses a loved one looks at what they could have done differently.

It’s the “what if’s” that rob the body of sleep.  There are so many cruel people in the world, and he’s such a sweet dog.  He gets along well with cats, other dogs and humans.  He watched the other dogs and did as they were doing.  He loved to be petted.  He was so upset when his mom died, refusing to eat.  He was skin and bones when we took him in. He made other doggie friends.  He started to eat, play and be a dog.  Then he found a hole in the fence.

Your other dogs won’t go out of the yard without their humans with them.

But Blue wasn’t used to being free to run the property, or to play with other dogs.  He soaked up all the love, petting and praise.  He loved his dog biscuits and especially loved the special treats everyone gets once a day.

You keep thinking he didn’t leave willingly.

What if someone picked him up and took him home?  They might think it was a kind thing to do, but it’s hell on the people who love him.  I know he wasn’t here an entire month, but all the other doggies are moping around, just like their 2 footed companions.

You alerted the local vet, you sent a copy of your flyer by email to the humane society, and your husband checked with the pound today.  There isn’t a whole lot more you can do.

I can hope that whoever picked him up will love him as much.  I can hope that if someone saw the face of a dog that has pit bull in him and shot him for it that there’s a hell for the man who couldn’t see past the stereotype and look at the love in a lost doggies eyes.

Now you’re getting vindictive.

I know that children who become serial killers as adults start out by torturing innocent little animals.  If wishing the worst for people like that is vindictive then I can’t imagine what the word is that one would use to describe the Ted Bundy’s or the Hatfield’s and McCoy’s of the world.

You have a lot of friends supporting and helping you on facebook.  They shared your plea for help finding the newest member of your family.

There are kind, loving and caring people out there I deeply appreciate.  Then there are the people who ask why I’m missing Blue when I have 4 other dogs at home.  If a person has 4 children do you think they’re going to miss the youngest if he disappears?  Of course!  If I hear, “It’s only a dog,” one more time I can’t be responsible for what happens to the person who says it.  Dogs don’t betray you.  Dogs always meet you at the door with a smile.  Dogs are loyal to a fault and would die for you.  Well, except for Dingo Mutt.  I think he’d be hiding behind me for protection.  But you know what I mean.  There is more humanity in most dogs than there is in most humans.

One way or another, it’s going to be all right.

I’d be happy just knowing that he’s warm and loved and fed in a home with people who appreciate him.  If I knew that much, it would give me closure.

You never know what a new day brings.  Stop crying, start sleeping. You’ve done everything humanly possible.

Some days it would be so nice to be more than human.  I’d like to be able…Hey….why not tell me where he is.  You know everything.

I gave you free will.  It means I can’t interfere.  It’s not free will if I’m continually saving your butts.

Then thanks for giving me the chance to vent, nice talking at ya.

Sarcasm, the human venting system.

Until there’s another alternative, it’s the best I can do.  You have a good night.  That way, at least one of us gets some rest.