Typing in the dark again


God?  Are you there?


I love the scent of 4 o’clocks just outside my door.  I love the puppies and kitties, I love an open car window as I feel the warm summer breeze on my face.  These are the things I’m certain about.

You’re searching again, trying to find your place in the universe.

Why did I have a dream about an earthquake?  It was like the Earth spit into a type 2 root canal and the orange yellow fire coming out of the crack was frightening.  The only things I remember about the landscape were the colors of beige and that it happened at 7:00.    Why not 7:11 or 7:26?

Life isn’t making sense to you right now.

There are so many ways I’m happy, in fact I’m happier than I’ve been for most of my life.

You’re searching for your place in the world again when you understand that there is no place for you.

Some days I feel like a kid whose parents died, left her an orphan and now I’m in a huge orphanage.

One day you were loved, the next day just one of many mouths to feed.

All the lies, manipulation, lack of love, hatred, the collective worry, starvation and pain in the world.   Some nights I awaken as if I’m the Earth and all that roiling mass of insanity is killing me.

You’d have to be a gerbil to believe that Earth isn’t one meteor away from a new animal kingdom.

So much beauty in the world, a blue sky, clouds floating by, the comfort of darkness to eyes strained by so much light.  Why can’t I simply be happy with that?

Because you haven’t yet learned how to allow the emotions of others to pass through you.

It seems like a human epidemic.

Go back to sleep.  The earthquake will pass, you’ll be shaken and not stirred.  Think about who you want to become…

I want to be love, do love…see love.

And write love.  Are you feeling better?

Strangely, yes.