Conversations with earthworms
Here. Have another one.
Here I am again, God. In the dark asking…Asking..
No. Guidance. If I’m asleep, why…
You’re asking for truth. I am the way, the truth, the light…
I can’t tell up from down, how am I going to find a way…
Turn of the light, turn off the computer screen and start typing.
All right. I’m typing. Now what?
Tell me your question.
Every night I wake up at 3am or 4…or some nights I don’t go to sleep. Why?
What are you searching for?
Enlightenment. How do I find the light in the dark?
Your dog is on the bed. She’ll protect you in the dark.
It feels as if I’m floating, except for the smell of bleach coming from the laundry room.
You ask for guidance. To have guidance you have to let go of the tinnitus in your ears, the scents and sensations all around you.
It feels so good to type.
Start your affirmation.
I am God’s child, walking along God’s journey and God is in control of my life…
Stop right there. You have to let go of taste, too.
I’m not going to buy some ugly canisters with clown faces as handles.
That’s not what I mean. You’re thinking of oatmeal raisin bars.
I am, quite literally, addicted to the damned things! And to chocolate, sugar… How do I stop being addicted to sugar?
The same way people stop being addicted to any other drug.
I’m floating, but…
Let me guide your way.
I can’t tell up from down.
Do you see that pinpoint of light?
When I close my eyes, I see the same thing that makes the world look like it has a floating veil over it, roiling salt and pepper dots that just won’t stop moving. There have to be a zillion pinpoints of light!
Let go of sight, sound, taste and touch.
How do I find the way, the truth and the light if I can’t get the taste of bleach out of my nose? Why won’t my ear stop clicking? What’s with the weird images of other civilizations that pop onto the viewing screen of my eyelids? It looks like I’m watching them from a cave.
What was your original question?
Why do I have insomnia?
Because you just can’t let go of the world.
My house is a mess, the dogs need a bath, I have books to finish…
You do know that one day everything in your home, the dirt under your house, your continent, your planet, your solar system and your galaxy will all be nothing but dust, don’t you?
That isn’t going to help me get the kitchen any cleaner.
Remember that cave, the one where you’re looking at different civilizations?
Weird as hell. When I try to get a closer look, it disappears.
Let go of sight, sound taste, touch, want, need…
That’s like asking me to die and forget all about my responsibilities.
Must you continue to look at the world butt first?
mmmm….oatmeal raisin bars…mmmm…I see a pinpoint of light. It’s green…it’s…
The num lock light on your keyboard.
How can I pray for the world to see the truth of who we are in God and who God is in us if I can’t see past the next oatmeal raisin bar?
Now we’re getting somewhere. What is your journey?
My goal in life is to finish my books, to leave a legacy for my progeny…
No. Your purpose in this life is to write, to explore through your books what your mind can’t break past any other way. To look at the patterns to see what comes up over and over and over again, and then work through it as you watch your characters do the same.
Because in the end, all that’s left is spirit. Do oatmeal raisin bars go to heaven?
Does an earthworm know algebra?
I have no idea what an earthworm knows, nor would I want to.
You’re drifting into sleep. We’ll talk again…soon.
Hah! In my dreams.